Limit proxy's memory from TiFlash's side (#408)

[ti-chi-bot]

This is an automated cherry-pick of #408

What is changed and how it works?

Issue Number: Close tiflash#9745

What's Changed:

Related changes

• PR to update pingcap/docs/pingcap/docs-cn:
• Need to cherry-pick to the release branch

Check List

Tests

• Unit test
• Integration test
• Manual test (add detailed scripts or steps below)
• No code

Side effects

• Performance regression: Consumes more CPU
• Performance regression: Consumes more Memory
• Breaking backward compatibility

Release note

Fix an issue that TiFlash may unexpectedly reject raft message when memory usage is not high

[ti-chi-bot]

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[CalvinNeo]

/retest

[ti-chi-bot]

@ti-chi-bot: The following test failed, say /retest to rerun all failed tests or /retest-required to rerun all mandatory failed tests:

Test name	Commit	Details	Required	Rerun command
pull-unit-test	58095c1	link	true	/test pull-unit-test

Full PR test history. Your PR dashboard.

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[CalvinNeo]

cargo test --package tests --test failpoints cases::test_import_service

Failed. But it also failed in HEAD. Don't know why.

Handshake failed with fatal error SSL_ERROR_SSL: error:1416F086:SSL routines:tls_process_server_certificate:certificate verify failed.

[CalvinNeo]

Can't push to tichi-bot.