The idea of Safe-space considered is the one articulated by the Advocates for Youth, quoted in Wikipedia's page on Safe-space and in Sudo Room's Articles of Association:
"A place where anyone can relax and be fully self-expressed, without fear of being made to feel uncomfortable, unwelcome, or unsafe on account of biological sex, race/ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, cultural background, age, or physical or mental ability; a place where the rules guard each person's self-respect and dignity and strongly encourage everyone to respect others."
The following discussion considers the issues involved and concludes with suggestions intended to implement the goal of Safe-space in the context of Sudo Room, a hackerspace in Oakland, and also to be more broadly applicable by focusing on the fundamental issues and moving from them to prescriptions for action as directly as possible.
On the surface there may appear to be a conflict between being fully self-expressed and having no fear of being made to feel uncomfortable, and that a perspective of value pluralism might therefore be necessary. Personal autonomy is a fertile common ground between these two concerns, and in the framework of personal autonomy the concerns for self-respect, dignity, and mutual respect can directly guide action that serves all concerns well at once.
There are at least as many ways of expressing oneself as there are combinations of people and social contexts in which they can find themselves together, and the same is true of ways of feeling uncomfortable, unwelcome, or unsafe. Thus, a protocol for negotiating sensible boundaries that preserve personal autonomy is preferable to a list of things assumed to transgress personal autonomy.
People should normally feel free to fully express themselves, but when this results in behavior that causes someone to feel uncomfortable, unwelcome, or unsafe, the person who feels that way should respectfully, promptly, and directly raise the issue with the person doing the expressing, and all involved should work out a mutually satisfactory solution that permits as much self-expression as possible without subjecting others to things they object to.
Usually this will simply amount to not doing things people object to when around them, but where deeper issues of general interest are involved the opportunity to discuss them and learn from one another about them should not be missed.
That said, in the absence of personal knowledge that an exception would be warranted, a sensible default is to act as you would when trying to be polite in a public social setting among strangers that you wish to be on good terms with. These are some reasonable rules of thumb:
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Don't use slurs or epithets, especially ones that reference the categories mentioned in the Safe-space definition, if there is any chance their use will be poorly received by those around you. Reclamatory speech is fine as long as it is clear that everyone around appreciates it as such.
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Refer to people by their preferred names and pronouns.
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Maintain reasonable physical and sexual boundaries. Assume people are not interested in intimate contact or discussion unless it is clear that they are.
Where conflicts that can't be directly resolved do arise, pursue restorative remedies:
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Find a mediator who can suggest mutually satisfactory solutions from an impartial perspective, and work earnestly with that mediator to find a solution that meets everyone's needs.
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Be willing to learn about the other people involved and about their perspectives, backgrounds, and intentions.
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Ask instead of assuming.
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Make good relationships with other people in your community your highest goal.