diff --git a/src/psygnal/_evented_model_v1.py b/src/psygnal/_evented_model_v1.py
index f9bd6d3c..a481b8bc 100644
--- a/src/psygnal/_evented_model_v1.py
+++ b/src/psygnal/_evented_model_v1.py
@@ -362,10 +362,10 @@ def __setattr__(self, name: str, value: Any) -> None:
         deps_with_callbacks = {
             dep_name
             for dep_name in self.__field_dependents__.get(name, ())
-            if len(group[dep_name]) > 1
+            if len(group[dep_name])
         }
         if (
-            len(signal_instance) < 2  # the signal itself has no listeners
+            len(signal_instance) < 1  # the signal itself has no listeners
             and not deps_with_callbacks  # no dependent properties with listeners
             and not len(group._psygnal_relay)  # no listeners on the SignalGroup
         ):
diff --git a/src/psygnal/_evented_model_v2.py b/src/psygnal/_evented_model_v2.py
index 75b82375..c4413854 100644
--- a/src/psygnal/_evented_model_v2.py
+++ b/src/psygnal/_evented_model_v2.py
@@ -348,10 +348,10 @@ def __setattr__(self, name: str, value: Any) -> None:
         deps_with_callbacks = {
             dep_name
             for dep_name in self.__field_dependents__.get(name, ())
-            if len(group[dep_name]) > 1
+            if len(group[dep_name])
         }
         if (
-            len(signal_instance) < 2  # the signal itself has no listeners
+            len(signal_instance) < 1  # the signal itself has no listeners
             and not deps_with_callbacks  # no dependent properties with listeners
             and not len(group._psygnal_relay)  # no listeners on the SignalGroup
         ):
diff --git a/src/psygnal/_group.py b/src/psygnal/_group.py
index c79071cf..98e19c6d 100644
--- a/src/psygnal/_group.py
+++ b/src/psygnal/_group.py
@@ -12,12 +12,14 @@
 
 import warnings
 from typing import (
+    TYPE_CHECKING,
     Any,
     Callable,
     ClassVar,
     ContextManager,
     Iterable,
     Iterator,
+    Literal,
     Mapping,
     NamedTuple,
 )
@@ -26,6 +28,9 @@
 
 from ._mypyc import mypyc_attr
 
+if TYPE_CHECKING:
+    from psygnal._weak_callback import WeakCallback
+
 __all__ = ["EmissionInfo", "SignalGroup"]
 
 
@@ -63,14 +68,29 @@ def __init__(
         self._signals = signals
         self._sig_was_blocked: dict[str, bool] = {}
 
+    def _append_slot(self, slot: WeakCallback) -> None:
+        super()._append_slot(slot)
+        if len(self._slots) == 1:
+            self._connect_relay()
+
+    def _connect_relay(self) -> None:
         # silence any warnings about failed weakrefs (will occur in compiled version)
         with warnings.catch_warnings():
             warnings.simplefilter("ignore")
-            for sig in signals.values():
+            for sig in self._signals.values():
                 sig.connect(
                     self._slot_relay, check_nargs=False, check_types=False, unique=True
                 )
 
+    def _remove_slot(self, slot: int | WeakCallback | Literal["all"]) -> None:
+        super()._remove_slot(slot)
+        if not self._slots:
+            self._disconnect_relay()
+
+    def _disconnect_relay(self) -> None:
+        for sig in self._signals.values():
+            sig.disconnect(self._slot_relay)
+
     def _slot_relay(self, *args: Any) -> None:
         if emitter := Signal.current_emitter():
             info = EmissionInfo(emitter, args)
diff --git a/src/psygnal/_group_descriptor.py b/src/psygnal/_group_descriptor.py
index 8776e437..d751f479 100644
--- a/src/psygnal/_group_descriptor.py
+++ b/src/psygnal/_group_descriptor.py
@@ -268,7 +268,7 @@ def _setattr_and_emit_(self: object, name: str, value: Any) -> None:
 
             # don't emit if the signal doesn't exist or has no listeners
             signal: SignalInstance = group[name]
-            if len(signal) < 2 and not len(group._psygnal_relay):
+            if len(signal) < 1:
                 return super_setattr(self, name, value)
 
             with _changes_emitted(self, name, signal):
diff --git a/src/psygnal/_signal.py b/src/psygnal/_signal.py
index ea3f5d9e..ee516cdc 100644
--- a/src/psygnal/_signal.py
+++ b/src/psygnal/_signal.py
@@ -521,14 +521,28 @@ def _wrapper(
                     finalize=self._try_discard,
                     on_ref_error=_on_ref_err,
                 )
-                if thread is None:
-                    self._slots.append(cb)
-                else:
-                    self._slots.append(QueuedCallback(cb, thread=thread))
+                if thread is not None:
+                    cb = QueuedCallback(cb, thread=thread)
+                self._append_slot(cb)
             return slot
 
         return _wrapper if slot is None else _wrapper(slot)
 
+    def _append_slot(self, slot: WeakCallback) -> None:
+        """Append a slot to the list of slots."""
+        # implementing this as a method allows us to override/extend it in subclasses
+        self._slots.append(slot)
+
+    def _remove_slot(self, slot: Literal["all"] | int | WeakCallback) -> None:
+        """Remove a slot from the list of slots."""
+        # implementing this as a method allows us to override/extend it in subclasses
+        if slot == "all":
+            self._slots.clear()
+        elif isinstance(slot, int):
+            self._slots.pop(slot)
+        else:
+            self._slots.remove(cast("WeakCallback", slot))
+
     def _try_discard(self, callback: WeakCallback, missing_ok: bool = True) -> None:
         """Try to discard a callback from the list of slots.
 
@@ -540,7 +554,7 @@ def _try_discard(self, callback: WeakCallback, missing_ok: bool = True) -> None:
             If `True`, do not raise an error if the callback is not found in the list.
         """
         try:
-            self._slots.remove(callback)
+            self._remove_slot(callback)
         except ValueError:
             if not missing_ok:
                 raise
@@ -633,7 +647,7 @@ def connect_setattr(
                 finalize=self._try_discard,
                 on_ref_error=on_ref_error,
             )
-            self._slots.append(caller)
+            self._append_slot(caller)
         return caller
 
     def disconnect_setattr(
@@ -747,7 +761,7 @@ def connect_setitem(
                 finalize=self._try_discard,
                 on_ref_error=on_ref_error,
             )
-            self._slots.append(caller)
+            self._append_slot(caller)
 
         return caller
 
@@ -859,12 +873,12 @@ def disconnect(self, slot: Callable | None = None, missing_ok: bool = True) -> N
         with self._lock:
             if slot is None:
                 # NOTE: clearing an empty list is actually a RuntimeError in Qt
-                self._slots.clear()
+                self._remove_slot("all")
                 return
 
             idx = self._slot_index(slot)
             if idx != -1:
-                self._slots.pop(idx)
+                self._remove_slot(idx)
             elif not missing_ok:
                 raise ValueError(f"slot is not connected: {slot}")
 
diff --git a/tests/test_group.py b/tests/test_group.py
index 59712a03..e1530d11 100644
--- a/tests/test_group.py
+++ b/tests/test_group.py
@@ -16,7 +16,7 @@ class MyGroup(SignalGroup):
     sig2 = Signal(str)
 
 
-def test_signal_group():
+def test_signal_group() -> None:
     assert not MyGroup.psygnals_uniform()
     with pytest.warns(
         FutureWarning, match="The `is_uniform` method on SignalGroup is deprecated"
@@ -33,7 +33,7 @@ def test_signal_group():
         group.sig3  # noqa: B018
 
 
-def test_uniform_group():
+def test_uniform_group() -> None:
     """In a uniform group, all signals must have the same signature."""
 
     class MyStrictGroup(SignalGroup, strict=True):
@@ -55,7 +55,7 @@ class BadGroup(SignalGroup, strict=True):
 
 
 @pytest.mark.skipif(Annotated is None, reason="requires typing.Annotated")
-def test_nonhashable_args():
+def test_nonhashable_args() -> None:
     """Test that non-hashable annotations are allowed in a SignalGroup"""
 
     class MyGroup(SignalGroup):
@@ -72,7 +72,7 @@ class MyGroup2(SignalGroup, strict=True):
 
 
 @pytest.mark.parametrize("direct", [True, False])
-def test_signal_group_connect(direct: bool):
+def test_signal_group_connect(direct: bool) -> None:
     mock = Mock()
     group = MyGroup()
     if direct:
@@ -104,7 +104,7 @@ def test_signal_group_connect(direct: bool):
     mock.assert_has_calls(expected_calls)
 
 
-def test_signal_group_connect_no_args():
+def test_signal_group_connect_no_args() -> None:
     """Test that group.all.connect can take a callback that wants no args"""
     group = MyGroup()
     count = []
@@ -118,7 +118,7 @@ def my_slot() -> None:
     assert len(count) == 2
 
 
-def test_group_blocked():
+def test_group_blocked() -> None:
     group = MyGroup()
 
     mock1 = Mock()
@@ -149,7 +149,7 @@ def test_group_blocked():
     mock2.assert_not_called()
 
 
-def test_group_blocked_exclude():
+def test_group_blocked_exclude() -> None:
     """Test that we can exempt certain signals from being blocked."""
     group = MyGroup()
 
@@ -166,7 +166,7 @@ def test_group_blocked_exclude():
     mock2.assert_called_once_with("hi")
 
 
-def test_group_disconnect_single_slot():
+def test_group_disconnect_single_slot() -> None:
     """Test that we can disconnect single slots from groups."""
     group = MyGroup()
 
@@ -184,7 +184,7 @@ def test_group_disconnect_single_slot():
     mock2.assert_called_once()
 
 
-def test_group_disconnect_all_slots():
+def test_group_disconnect_all_slots() -> None:
     """Test that we can disconnect all slots from groups."""
     group = MyGroup()
 
@@ -202,7 +202,7 @@ def test_group_disconnect_all_slots():
     mock2.assert_not_called()
 
 
-def test_weakref():
+def test_weakref() -> None:
     """Make sure that the group doesn't keep a strong reference to the instance."""
     import gc
 
@@ -218,7 +218,7 @@ class T: ...
 
 def test_group_deepcopy() -> None:
     class T:
-        def method(self): ...
+        def method(self) -> None: ...
 
     obj = T()
     group = MyGroup(obj)
@@ -254,3 +254,37 @@ class MyGroup(SignalGroup):
 
     assert "_psygnal_thing" not in MyGroup._psygnal_signals
     assert "other_signal" in MyGroup._psygnal_signals
+
+
+def test_delayed_relay_connect() -> None:
+    group = MyGroup()
+    mock = Mock()
+    gmock = Mock()
+    assert len(group.sig1) == 0
+
+    group.sig1.connect(mock)
+    # group relay hasn't been connected to sig1 or sig2 yet
+    assert len(group.sig1) == 1
+    assert len(group.sig2) == 0
+
+    group.all.connect(gmock)
+    # NOW the relay is connected
+    assert len(group.sig1) == 2
+    assert len(group.sig2) == 1
+    method = group.sig1._slots[-1].dereference()
+    assert method
+    assert method.__name__ == "_slot_relay"
+
+    group.sig1.emit(1)
+    mock.assert_called_once_with(1)
+    gmock.assert_called_once_with(EmissionInfo(group.sig1, (1,)))
+
+    group.all.disconnect(gmock)
+    assert len(group.sig1) == 1
+    assert len(group.all) == 0
+
+    mock.reset_mock()
+    gmock.reset_mock()
+    group.sig1.emit(1)
+    mock.assert_called_once_with(1)
+    gmock.assert_not_called()
diff --git a/tests/test_psygnal.py b/tests/test_psygnal.py
index 49a7dea5..b5f11990 100644
--- a/tests/test_psygnal.py
+++ b/tests/test_psygnal.py
@@ -385,7 +385,7 @@ def test_weakref(slot):
         "partial",
     ],
 )
-def test_group_weakref(slot):
+def test_group_weakref(slot) -> None:
     """Test that a connected method doesn't hold strong ref."""
     from psygnal import SignalGroup
 
@@ -395,8 +395,7 @@ class MyGroup(SignalGroup):
     group = MyGroup()
     obj = MyObj()
 
-    # simply by nature of being in a group, sig1 will have a callback
-    assert len(group.sig1) == 1
+    assert len(group.sig1) == 0
     # but the group itself doesn't have any
     assert len(group._psygnal_relay) == 0
 
@@ -412,7 +411,7 @@ class MyGroup(SignalGroup):
     del obj
     gc.collect()
     group.sig1.emit(1)  # this should trigger deletion, so would emitter.emit()
-    assert len(group.sig1) == 1
+    assert len(group.sig1) == 0  # NOTE! this is 0 not 1, because the relay is also gone
     assert len(group._psygnal_relay) == 0  # it's been cleaned up