brat.js

'use strict';

var path = require('path');
var request = require('request');
var fs = require('fs');
// var config = JSON.parse(fs.readFileSync('config.json', 'utf8'));
var TOKEN = '234324399:AAFrM5QwF_j4_qq1QWYrTf_H9HZ_0j9EYjs';

var baseRequest = request.defaults({
    baseUrl: 'https://api.telegram.org/bot' + TOKEN + '/'
});

var noop = function (err) {
    if(err) { console.log(err); }
};
var callMethod = function (methodName, params, cb) {
    cb = cb || noop;
    var req = {uri: methodName, method: 'POST'};
    if (Object.keys(params).length) {
        req.formData = params;
    }
    baseRequest(req, function (err, response, body) {
        // console.log(err, body);
        if (err) {
            return cb(err);
        }
        cb(err, JSON.parse(body));
    });
};

var getUpdatesOffset = 0;
var getUpdates = function (cb) {
    var params = {offset: getUpdatesOffset, timeout: 60};
    callMethod('getUpdates', params, function (err, data) {
        if (err) {
            return cb(err);
        }
        if (data.result.length) {
            getUpdatesOffset = data.result[data.result.length - 1].update_id + 1;
        }
        cb(err, data);
    });
}

var handlers = {
    'ping': function (message) {
        callMethod('sendMessage', {chat_id: message.chat.id, text: 'pong'});
    },
    'cat': function (message) {
        request('http://random.cat/meow', function (err, res, body) {
            if (err) {
                console.log(err);
                return callMethod('sendMessage', {chat_id: message.chat.id, text: 'Something went wrong, try again!'});
            }

            var imageUrl = JSON.parse(body).file;
            var file = request(imageUrl);
            var params = {
                chat_id: message.chat.id,
                caption: imageUrl
            };

            if (path.extname(imageUrl) === '.gif') {
                callMethod('sendChatAction', {chat_id: message.chat.id, action: 'upload_document'});
                params.document = file;
                callMethod('sendDocument', params);
            } else {
                callMethod('sendChatAction', {chat_id: message.chat.id, action: 'upload_photo'});
                params.photo = file;
                callMethod('sendPhoto', params);
            }
        });
    },
    '1': function (message) {
        request('https://pp.vk.me/c631529/v631529444/1d29e/VyaGHxyHcMY.jpg', function (err, res, body) {
            //if (err) {
                //console.log(err);
                //return callMethod('sendMessage', {chat_id: message.chat.id, text: 'Something went wrong, try again!'});
            //}

            var imageUrl = 'https://pp.vk.me/c631529/v631529444/1d29e/VyaGHxyHcMY.jpg';
            var file = request(imageUrl);
            var params = {
                chat_id: message.chat.id,
                caption: imageUrl
            };

            //if (path.extname(imageUrl) === '.gif') {
                //callMethod('sendChatAction', {chat_id: message.chat.id, action: 'upload_document'});
                //params.document = file;
                //callMethod('sendDocument', params);
            //} else {
                callMethod('sendChatAction', {chat_id: message.chat.id, action: 'upload_photo'});
                params.photo = file;
                callMethod('sendPhoto', params);
            //}
        });
    },

    'bratishka': function (message) {
        request('https://pp.vk.me/c631529/v631529444/1d29e/VyaGHxyHcMY.jpg', function (err, res, body) {
            //if (err) {
                //console.log(err);
                //return callMethod('sendMessage', {chat_id: message.chat.id, text: 'Something went wrong, try again!'});
            //}

            var params = {
                chat_id: message.chat.id
            };

            //if (path.extname(imageUrl) === '.gif') {
                //callMethod('sendChatAction', {chat_id: message.chat.id, action: 'upload_document'});
                //params.document = file;
                //callMethod('sendDocument', params);
            //} else {
                return callMethod('sendMessage', {chat_id: message.chat.id, text: 'да-да?'});
            //}
        });
    },

    'bratishka off': function (message) {
        request('https://pp.vk.me/c631529/v631529444/1d29e/VyaGHxyHcMY.jpg', function (err, res, body) {
            //if (err) {
                //console.log(err);
                //return callMethod('sendMessage', {chat_id: message.chat.id, text: 'Something went wrong, try again!'});
            //}

            var params = {
                chat_id: message.chat.id
            };

            //if (path.extname(imageUrl) === '.gif') {
                //callMethod('sendChatAction', {chat_id: message.chat.id, action: 'upload_document'});
                //params.document = file;
                //callMethod('sendDocument', params);
            //} else {
                return callMethod('sendMessage', {chat_id: message.chat.id, text: 'Пока! :('});
            //}
        });
    },

    'bratishka on': function (message) {
        request('https://pp.vk.me/c631529/v631529444/1d29e/VyaGHxyHcMY.jpg', function (err, res, body) {
            //if (err) {
                //console.log(err);
                //return callMethod('sendMessage', {chat_id: message.chat.id, text: 'Something went wrong, try again!'});
            //}

            var params = {
                chat_id: message.chat.id
            };

            //if (path.extname(imageUrl) === '.gif') {
                //callMethod('sendChatAction', {chat_id: message.chat.id, action: 'upload_document'});
                //params.document = file;
                //callMethod('sendDocument', params);
            //} else {
                return callMethod('sendMessage', {chat_id: message.chat.id, text: 'Привет! :)'});
            //}
        });
    }
};

var commands = Object.keys(handlers);
var messageHandler = function (update) {
    if (!update.message || !update.message.text) {
        return console.log('unhandled update', update);
    }

    var text = update.message.text.toLowerCase();
	var regV = /сис(ек|ьки|ечки|и|яндры)/;     // шаблон
	var result = text.match(regV);  // поиск шаблона в юрл

	if (result){
		return handlers['1'](update.message);
	}
	var brat = /братишк(а|и)/;
	result = text.match(brat);
	if (result){
		return handlers['bratishka'](update.message);
	}
    if (commands.indexOf(update.message.text) !== -1) {
		console.log(update.message.text);
        return handlers[update.message.text](update.message);
    }

    var text = 'Sorry, I only understand commands' + commands.join(' ');
    //callMethod('sendMessage', {chat_id: update.message.chat.id, text: text});
};

var runBot = function () {
    getUpdates(function (err, data) {
        if (err) {
            console.log(err);
            return runBot();
        }
        if (!data.ok) {
            console.log(data);
            return runBot();
        }
        data.result.map(messageHandler);
        runBot();
    });
};

callMethod('getMe', {}, function (err, data) {
    if (err) {
        throw err;
    }
    runBot();
});