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TARR
PART I
BERTHA
CHAPTER I
Paris hints of sacrifice. — But here we deal with
that large dusty facet known to indulgent and
congruous kind. It is in its capacity of delicious
inn and majestic Baedeker, where western Venuses
twang its responsive streets and hush to soft growl
before its statues, that it is seen. It is not across
its Thébaïde that the unscrupulous heroes chase each
other's shadows. They are largely ignorant of all
but their restless personal lives.
Inconceivably generous and naïve faces haunt the
Knackfus Quarter. — We are not, however, in a Selim
or Vitagraph camp (though " guns " tap rhythmically
the buttocks). — Art is being studied. — Art is the
smell of oil paint, Henri Murger's Vie de Bohème,
co'rduroy trousers, the operatic Italian model. But
the poetry, above all, of linseed oil and turpentine.
The Knackfus Quarter is given up to Art. — Letters
and other things are round the corner. — Its rent is
half paid by America. Germany occupies a sensible
apartment on the second floor. A hundred square
yards at its centre is a convenient space, where the
Boulevard du Paradis and Boulevard Pfeifer cross
with their electric trams. — In the middle is a pave-
ment island, like vestige of submerged masonry. —
Italian models festoon it in symmetrical human
groups ; it is also their club. — The Café Berne, at
one side, is the club of the " Grands messieurs Du
Berne." So you have the clap-trap and amorphous
Campagnia tribe outside, in the café twenty sluggish
1 A
common-sense Germans, a Vitagraph group or two,
drinking and playing billiards. These are the most
permanent tableaux of this place, disheartening and
admonitory as a Tussaud's of The Flood.
Hobson and Tarr met in the Boulevard du Paradis.
— They met in a gingerly, shuffling fashion. They
had so many good reasons for not slowing down when
they met : crowds of little antecedent meetings all
revivifying like the bacilli of a harmless fever at the
sight of each other : pointing to why they should crush
their hats over their eyes and hurry on, so that it was
a defeat and insanitary to have their bodies shuffling
and gesticulating there. " Why cannot most people,
having talked and annoyed each other once or twice,
rebecome strangers simply? Oh, for multitudes of
divorces in our moeurs, more than the old vexed sex
ones! Ah, yes: ah, yes — !" had not Tarr once put
forward, and Hobson agreed ?
" Have you been back long ? " Tarr asked with
despondent slowness.
" No. I got back yesterday," said Hobson, with
pleasantly twisted scowl.
(" Heavens : One day here only, and lo ! I meet
him.")
"How is London looking, then ! "
" Very much as usual. — I wasn't there the whole
time. — I was in Cambridge last week."
(" I wish you'd go to perdition from time to time,
instead of Cambridge, as it always is, you grim, grim
dog ! " Tarr wished behind the veil.)
They went to the Berne to have a drink.
They sat for some minutes with what appeared a
stately discomfort of self-consciousness, staring in
front of them. — It was really only a dreary, boiling
anger with themselves, with the contradictions of
civilized life, the immense and intricate camouflage
over the hatred that personal diversities engender.
" Phew, phew ! " A tenuous howl, like a subter-
ranean wind, rose from the borderland of their
consciousness. They were there on the point of
2
opening with tired, ashamed fingers, well-worn pages
of their souls, soon to be muttering between their teeth
the hackneyed pages to each other : resentful in
different degrees and disproportionate ways.
And so they sat with this absurd travesty of a
Quaker's meeting : shyness appearing to emanate
masterfully from Tarr. And in another case, with
almost any one but Hobson, it might have been shy-
ness. For Tarr had a gauche, Puritanical ritual of
self, the result of solitary habits. Certain observances
were demanded of those approaching, and quite
gratuitously observed in return. The fetish within —
soul-dweller that is strikingly like wood-dweller, and
who was not often enough disturbed to have had
sylvan shyness mitigated — would still cling to these
forms. Sometimes Tarr's cunning idol, aghast at its
nakedness, would manage to borrow or purloin some
shape of covering from elegantly draped visitor.
But for Hobson' s outfit he had the greatest
contempt.
This was Alan Hobson's outfit. — A Cambridge cut
disfigured his originally manly and melodramatic
form. His father was a wealthy merchant somewhere
in Egypt. He was very athletic, and his dark and
cavernous features had been constructed by Nature
as a lurking-place for villainies and passions. He was
untrue to his rascally, sinuous body. He slouched
and ambled along, neglecting his muscles : and his
dastardly face attempted to portray delicacies of
common sense, and gossamer-like backslidings into
the Inane that would have puzzled a bile-specialist.
He would occasionally exploit his blackguardly
appearance and blacksmith's muscles for a short time,
however. And his strong, piercing laugh threw
ABC waitresses into confusion.
The Art-touch, the Bloomsbury stain, was very
observable. Hobson's Harris tweeds were shabby.
A hat suggesting that his ancestors had been Plains-
men or some rough sunny folk, shaded unnecessarily
his countenance, already far from open.
The material for conversation afforded by a short sea
3
voyage,~an absence, a panama hat on his companion's
head, had been exhausted. — Tarr possessed no deft
hand or economy of force. His muscles rose un-
necessarily on his arm to lift a wine-glass to his lips.
He had no social machinery, but the cumbrous one
of the intellect. He danced about with this, it is true.
But it was full of sinister piston-rods, organ-like
shapes, heavy drills. — When he tried to be amiable,
he usually only succeeded in being ominous.
It was an effort to talk to Hobson. For this effort
a great bulk of nervous force was awoken. It got
to work and wove its large anomalous patterns. It
took the subject that was foremost in his existence
and imposed it on their talk.
Tarr turned to Hobson, and seized him, conversa-
tionally, by the hair.
" Well, Walt Whitman, when are you going to
get your hair cut ? "
" Why do you call me Walt Whitman ? "
" Would you prefer Buffalo Bill ? Or is it Shake-
speare ? "
"It is not Shakespeare- "
" ' Roi je ne suis : prince je ne daigne.' — That's
Hobson's choice. — But why so much hair ? I don't
wear my hair long. If you had as many reasons for
wearing it long as I have, we should see it flowing
round your ankles ! "
" I might ask you under those circumstances why
you wear it short. But I expect you have good
reasons for that, too. I can't see why you should
resent my innocent device. However long I wore it
I should not damage you by my competition "
Tarr rattled the cement match-stand on the table,
and the garçon sang " Toute suite, toute suite ! "
" Hobson, you were telling me about a studio to
let before you left. — I forget the details- "
" Was it one behind the Panthéon ? "
" That's it.— Was there electric light ? "
" No, I don't think there was electric light. But
I can find out for you."
" How did you come to hear of it ? "
4
" Through a German I know — Salle, Salla, or
something."
" What was the street ? "
" The Rue Lhomond. I forget the number."
" I'll go and have a look at it after lunch. — What
on earth possesses you to know so many Germans ? "
Tarr asked, sighing.
" Don't you like Germans ? — You've just been too
intimate with one ; that's what it is."
" Perhaps I have."
" A female German."
" The sex weakens the ' German,' surely."
" Does it in Fräulein Lunken's case ? "
" Oh, you know her, do you ? — Of course, you
would know her, as she's a German."
Alan Hobson cackled morosely, like a very sad top-
dog trying to imitate a rooster.
Tarr's unwieldy playfulness, might in the chequered
northern shade, in conjunction with nut-brown ale,
gazed at by some Rowlandson — he on the ultimate
borders of the epoch — have pleased by its à propos.
But when the last Rowlandson dies, the life, too, that
he saw should vanish. Anything that survives the
artist's death is not life, but play-acting. This
homely, thick -waisted affectation ! — Hobson yawned
and yawned as though he wished to swallow Tarr
and have done with him. Tarr yawned more noisily,
rattled his chair, sat up, haggard and stiff, as though
he wished to frighten this crow away. " Carrion-
Crow " was Tarr's name for Hobson : " The olde
Crow of Cairo," rather longer.
Why was he talking to this man ? However, he
shortly began to lay bare the secrets of his soul.
Hobson opened :
" It seems to me, Tarr, that you know more
Germans than I do. But you're ashamed of it. Hence
your attack. I met a Fräulein Fierspitz the other
day, a German, who claimed to know you. I am
always meeting Germans who know you. She also
referred to you as the ' official fiancé ' of Fräulein
Lunken. — Are you an ' official fiancé ' ? And if so,
what is that, may I ask ? "
5
Tarr was taken aback, it was evident. Hobson
laughed stridently. The real man emerging, he came
over quickly on another wave.
" You not only get to know Germans, crowds of
them, on the sly; you make your bosom friend of
them, engage yourself to them in marriage and make
Heaven knows how many more solemn pacts, cove-
nants, and agreements.— It's bound all to come out
some day. What will you do then ? "
Tarr was recovering gracefully from his relapse
into discomfort. If ever taken off his guard, he
made a clever use immediately afterwards of his
naïveté. He beamed on his slip. He would swallow
it tranquilly, assimilating it, with ostentation, to
himself. When some personal weakness slipped out
he would pick it up unabashed, look at it smilingly,
and put it back in his pocket.
" As you know," he soon replied, " ' engagement
is an euphemism. And, as a matter of fact, my girl
publicly announced the breaking off of our engage-
ment yesterday."
He looked a complete child, head thrown up as
though proclaiming something he had reason to be
particularly proud of.— Hobson laughed convulsively,
cracking his yellow fingers.
" Yes, it is funny, if you look at it in that way.— I
let her announce our engagement or the reverse just
as she likes. That has been our arrangement from
the start. I never know at any given time whether
I am engaged or not. I leave all that sort of thing
entirely in her hands. After a severe quarrel I am
pretty certain that I am temporarily unattached, the
link publicly severed somewhere or other."
" Possibly that is what is meant by ' official
fiancé ' ? "
" Very likely."
He had been hustled— through his vanity, the
Cairo Cantabian thought— somewhere where the time
could be passed. He did not hesitate to handle
Tarr's curiosities.— It is a graceful compliment to
offer the nectar of some ulcer to your neighbour. The
6
modern man understands his udders and taps. —
With an obscene heroism Tarr displayed his. His
companion wrenched at it with malice. Tarr pulled
a wry face once or twice at the other's sans gêne.
But he was proud of what he could stand. He had
a hazy image of a shrewd old countryman in contact
with the sharpness of the town. He would not shrink.
He would roughly outstrip his visitor. — " Ay, I have
this the matter with me — a funny complaint ? — and
that, and that, too. — What then ? — Do you want
me to race you to that hill ? "
He obtruded complacently all he had most to be
ashamed of, conscious of the power of an obsessing
weakness.
" Will you go so far in this clandestine life of yours
as to marry anybody ? " Hobson proceeded.
"No."
Hobson stared with bright meditative sweetness
down the boulevard.
" I think there must be a great difference between
your way of approaching Germans and mine," he said.
" Ay : it is different things that takes us respec-
tively amongst them."
" You like the national flavour, all the same."
. " I like the national flavour ! " — Tarr had a way
of beginning a reply with a parrot-like echo of the
words of the other party to the dialogue ; also of
repeating sotto voce one of his own sentences, a
mechanical rattle following on without stop. " Sex
is nationalized more than any other essential of
life. In this it is just the opposite to art. — There
is much pork and philosophy in German sex. — But
then if it is the sex you are after, it does not say you
want to identify your being with your appetite.
Quite the opposite. The condition of continued
enjoyment is to resist assimilation. — A man is the
opposite of his appetite."
" Surely, a man is his appetite."
" No, a man is always his last appetite, or his
appetite before last ; and that is no longer an appe-
7
tite. — But nobody is anything, or life would be
intolerable, the human race collapse. — You are me,
I am you. — The Present is the furthest projection
of our steady appetite. Imagination, like a general,
keeps behind. Imagination is the man."
" What is the Present ? " Hobson asked politely,
with much aspirating, sitting up a little and slightly
offering his ear.
But Tarr only repeated things arbitrarily. He
proceeded :
" Sex is a monstrosity. It is the arch abortion of
this filthy universe. — How ' old-fashioned ! ' — eh, my
fashionable friend? — We are all optimists to-day,
aren't we ? God's in his Heaven, all's well with the
world ! I am a pessimist, Hobson. But I'm a
new sort of pessimist. — I think I am the sort that
will please ! — I am the Panurgic-Pessimist, drunken
with the laughing-gas of the Abyss. I gaze on
squalor and idiocy, and the more I see it, the more
I like it. — Flaubert built up his Bouvard et Pécuchet
with maniacal and tireless hands. It took him ten
years. That was a long draught of stodgy laughter
from the gases that rise from the dung-heap ? He
had an appetite like an elephant for this form of
mirth. But he grumbled and sighed over his food. —
I take it in my arms and bury my face in it ! "
As Tarr's temperament spread its wings, whirling
him menacingly and mockingly above Hobson's
head, the Cantab philosopher did not think it neces-
sary to reply. — He was not winged himself. — He
watched Tarr looping the loop above him. He was
a drôle bird ! He wondered, as he watched him, if
he was a sound bird, or homme-oiseau. People
believed in him. His Exhibition flights attracted
attention. What sort of prizes could he expect to
win by his professional talents ? Would this notable
ambitieux be satisfied ?
The childish sport proceeded, with serious in-
tervals.
" I bury my face in it ! " — (He buried his face in
it ! !)_ " I laugh hoarsely through its thickness,
8
choking and spitting ; coughing, sneezing, blowing. —
People will begin to think I am an alligator if they
see me always swimming in their daily ooze. As
far as sex is concerned, I am that. Sex, Hobson, is a
German study. A German study." He shook his
head in a dejected, drunken way, protruding his lips.
He seemed to find analogies for his repeating habits,
with the digestion. — " All the same, you must take
my word for much in that connexion. — The choice of
a wife is not practical in the way that the securing of
a good bicycle, hygiene, or advertisement is. You
must think more of the dishes of the table. Rem-
brandt paints decrepit old Jews, the most decayed
specimens of the lowest race on earth, that is. Shake-
speare deals in human tubs of grease — Falstaff ;
Christ in sinners. Now as to sex ; Socrates married
a shrew ; most of the wisest men marry fools, picture
post cards, cows, or strumpets."
" I don't think that is quite true." Hobson resur-
rected himself dutifully. " The more sensible people
I can think of off-hand have more sensible, and on
the whole prettier, wives than other people."
" Prettier wives ? — You are describing a meaning-
less average. — The most suspicious fact about a
distinguished man is the possession of a distinguished
-wife. But you might just as well say in answer
to my Art statement that Sir Edward Leighton did
not paint the decayed meat of humanity."
Hobson surged up a little in his chair and collapsed.
— He had to appeal to his body to sustain the
argument.
" Neither did Raphael — I don't see why you should
drag Rembrandt in — Rembrandt "
" You're going to sniff at Rembrandt ! — You accuse
me of following the fashions in my liking for Cubism.
You are much more fashionable yourself. Would you
mind my 'dragging in' cheese, high game ? "
Hobson allowed cheeses with a rather drawn ex-
pression. But he did not see what that had to do
with it, either.
" It is not purely a question of appetite," he said.
9
" Sex, sir, is purely a question of appetite ! " Tarr
replied.
Hobson inclined himself mincingly, with a sweet
chuckle.
" If it is pure sex, that is," Tarr added.
" Oh, if it is pure sex — that, naturally " Hobson
convulsed himself and crowed thrice.
" Listen, Hobson ! — You mustn't make that noise.
It's very clever of you to be able to. But you will
not succeed in rattling me by making me feel I am
addressing a rooster "
Hobson let himself go in whoops and caws, as
though Tarr had been pressing him to perform.
When he had finished, Tarr said :
" Are you willing to consider sex seriously, or not? "
" Yes, I don't mind." — Hobson settled down, his
face flushed from his late display. — " But I shall
begin to believe before very long that your intentions
are honourable as regards the fair Fräulein. — What
exactly is your discourse intended to prove ? "
" Not the desirability of the marriage tie, any more
than a propaganda for representation and anecdote
in art. But if a man marries, or a great painter
represents (and the claims and seductions of life are
very urgent), he will not be governed in his choice
by the same laws that regulate the life of an efficient
citizen, a successful merchant, or the ideals of a
health expert."
" I should have said that the considerations that
precede a proposition of marriage had many analo-
gies with the health expert's outlook, the good
citizen's "
" Was Napoleon successful in life, or did he ruin
himself and end his days in miserable captivity ? —
Passion precludes the idea of success. Failure is its
condition. — Art and Sex when they are deep enough
make tragedies, and not advertisements for Health
experts, or happy endings for the Public, or social
panaceas."
" Alas, that is true."
"Well, then, well, then, Alan Hobson, you scare-
10
crow of an advanced fool-farm, deplorable pedant of
a sophistic voice-culture - "
"I? My voice—? But that's absurd !— If my
speech "
Hobson was up in arms about his voice : although
it was not his.
Tarr needed a grimacing, tumultuous mask for the
face he had to cover. — The clown was the only rôle
that was ample enough. He had compared his
clowning with Hobson's Pierrotesque and French
variety.
But Hobson, he considered, was a crowd. — You
could not say he was an individual. — He was a set.
He sat there, a cultivated audience. — He had the
aplomb and absence of self-consciousness of numbers,
of the herd — of those who know they are not alone. —
Tarr was shy and the reverse by turns. He was alone.
The individual is rustic.
For distinguishing feature Hobson possessed a
distinguished absence of personality.
Tarr gazed on this impersonality, of crowd origin,
with autocratic scorn.
Alan Hobson was a humble investor.
" But we're talking at cross purposes, Hobson.—
You think I am contending that affection for a dolt,
like my fiancée, is in some way a merit. I do not
mean that. Also, I do not mean that sex is my
tragedy, but art. — I will explain why I am associated
sexually with this pumpkin. First, I am an artist. —
With most people, not describable as artists, all the
finer part of their vitality goes into sex. They
become third-rate poets during their courtship. All
their instincts of drama come out freshly with their
wives. The artist is he in whom this emotionality
normally absorbed by sex is so strong that it claims a
newer and more exclusive field of deployment. — Its
first creation is the Artist himself, a new sort of person ;
the creative man. But for the first-rate poet, nothing
short of a Queen or a Chimera is adequate for the
powers of his praise. — And so on all through the
bunch of his gifts. One by one his powers and moyens
11
are turned away from the usual object of a man's
poetry, and turned away from the immediate world.
One solitary thing is left facing a woman. — That
is his sex, a lonely phallus. — Things are not quite so
simple in actual fact as this. Some artists are less
complete than others. More or less remains to the
man. — Then the character of the artist's creation
comes in. What tendency has my work as an artist,
a ready instance ? You may have noticed that it has
that of an invariable severity. Apart from its being
good or bad, its character is ascetic rather than
sensuous, and divorced from immediate life. There
is no slop of sex in that. But there is no severity left
over for the work of the cruder senses either. Very
often with an artist whose work is very sensuous or
human, his sex instinct, if it is active, will be more
discriminating than with a man more fastidious and
discriminating than he in his work. To sum up this
part of my disclosure. — No one could have a coarser,
more foolish, slovenly taste than I have in women.
It is not even sluttish and abject, of the J. W. M.
Turner type, with his washerwoman at Gravesend. —
It is bourgeois, banal, pretty-pretty, a cross between
the Musical Comedy stage and the ideal of the
Eighteenth -Century gallant. All the delicate psycho-
logy another man naturally seeks in a woman, the
curiosity of form, windows on other lives, love and
passion, I seek in my work and not elsewhere. — Form
would perhaps be thickened by child-bearing ; it
would perhaps be damaged by harlotry. — Why should
sex still be active ? That is a matter of heredity
that has nothing to do with the general energies of the
mind. I see I am boring you. — The matter is too
remote ! — But you have trespassed here, and you
must listen. — I cannot let you off before you have
heard, and shown that you understand. — If you do
not sit and listen, I will write it all to you. You
will be made to hear it ! — And after I have told
you this, I will tell you why I am talking to a fool
like you ! "
" You ask me to be polite "
12
" I don't mind how impolite you are so long as
you listen."
" Well, I am listening — with interest."
Tarr was tearing, as he saw it, at the blankets that
swaddled this spirit in its inner snobberies. — A bitter
feast was steaming hot, and a mouth must be found
to eat it. This beggar's had to serve. It was, above
all, an ear, all the nerves complete. He must get
his words into it. They must not be swallowed at
a gulp. They must taste, sting, and benefit by the
meaning of an appetite. — He had something to say.
It must be said while it was living. Once it was said,
it could look after itself. — Hobson had shocked some-
thing that was ready to burst out. He must help
it out. Hobson must pay as well for the intimacy.
He must pay Bertha Lunken afterwards.
He felt like insisting that he should come round
and apologize to her.
" A man only goes and confesses his faults to the
world when his self will not acknowledge or listen to
them. The function of a friend is to be a substitute
for this defective self, to be the World and the Real
without the disastrous consequences of reality. — Yet
punishment is one of his chief offices. — The friend
enlarges also substantially the boundaries of our
solitude."
This was written in Tarr's diary. He was now
chastising this self he wrote of for not listening, by
telling the first stranger met. — Had a friend been
there he could have interceded for his ego.
" You have followed so far ? " Tarr looked with
slow disdainful suspicion at Hobson' s face staring at
the ground. " You have understood the nature of
my secret ? — Half of myself I have to hide. I am
bitterly ashamed of a slovenly, common portion of
my life that has been isolated and repudiated by the
energies I am so proud of. ' I am ashamed of the
number of Germans I know,' as you put it. — I have
13
in that rôle to cower and slink away even from an
old fruit-tin like you. It is useless heroically to
protect that section of my life. It's no good sticking
up for it. It is not worth protecting. It is not even
up to your standards. I have, therefore, to deliver
it over to your eyes, and eyes of the likes of you,
in the end — if you will deign to use them ! — I even
have to beg you to use your eyes ; to hold you by
the sleeve and crave a glance for an object belonging
to me !
" In this compartment of my life I have not a vestige
of passion. — That is the root reason for its meanness
and absurdity. — The best friend of my Dr. Jekyll
would not know my Mr. Hyde, and vice versa. This
rudimentary self is more starved and stupid than
any other man's. Or to put it less or more humbly,
I am of that company who are reduced to looking
to Socrates for a consoling lead.
" Think of all the collages, marriages, and liaisons
that you know, in which some frowsy or foolish or
doll-like or log-like bitch accompanies the form of
an otherwise sensible man : a dumbfounding, disgust-
ing, and septic ghost !
" How foul and wrong this haunting of women is ! —
They are everywhere ! — Confusing, blurring, libelling,
with their half-baked, gushing, tawdry presences !
It is like a slop of children and the bawling machinery
of the inside of life, always and all over our palaces.
Their silly flood of cheap illusion comes in between
friendships, stagnates complacently around a softened
mind.
" I might almost take some credit to myself for
at least having the grace to keep this bear-garden in
the background."
Hobson had brightened up while this was proceed-
ing. — He now said:
" You might almost. — Why don't you ? I admire
what you tell me. But you appear to take your
German foibles too much to heart."
" Just at present I am engaged in a gala of the
heart. You may have noticed that. — I am not a
14
strict landlord with the various personalities gathered
beneath my roof. — In the present case I am really
blessed. But you should see the sluts that get in
sometimes ! They all become steadily my fiancée
too. — Fiancée ! Observe how one apes the forms of
conventional life. It does not mean anything, so
one lets it stop. Its the same with the café fools
I have for friends — there's a Greek fool, a German
fool, a Russian fool, — an English fool ! — There are
no ' friends ' in this life any more than there are
' fiancées.' So it doesn't matter. You drift on side
by side with this live stock — friends, fiancées, 'col-
leagues,' and what not."
Hobson sat staring with a bemused seriousness at
the ground.
" Why should I not speak plainly and cruelly of
my poor, ridiculous fiancée to you or any one ? — After
all, it is chiefly myself I am castigating. — But you,
too, must be of the party ! The right to see implies
the right to be seen. As an offset for your prying,
scurvy way of peeping into my affairs you must
offer your own guts, such as they are ! "
" How have I pried into your affairs ? " Hobson
asked with a circumspect surprise.
" Any one who stands outside, who hides himself
in a deliquescent aloofness, is a sneak and a spy "
'" That seems to me to be a case of smut calling the
kettle black. I should not have said that you were
conspicuous ' '
" No. — You know you have joined yourself to
those who hush their voices to hear what other
people are saying ! — Every one who does not fight
openly and bear his share of the common burden of
ignominy in life, is a sneak, unless it is for a solid
motive. — The quiet you claim is not to work in. —
What have you exchanged your temper, your freedom,
and your fine voice against ? You have exchanged
them for an old hat that does not belong to you, and
a shabbiness you have not merited by suffering
neediness. — Your pseudo-neediness is a sentimental
indulgence. — Every man should be forced to dress
15
up to his income, and make a smart, fresh appearance.
— Patching the seat of your trousers, instead ! "
" Wait a minute," Hobson said, with a laugh. " You
accuse me of sentimentality in my choice of costume.
I wonder if you are as free from sentimentality."
" I don't care a tinker's blue curse about that. —
I am talking about you. — Let me proceed. — With
your training, you are decked in the plumes of
very fine birds indeed. But your plumes are not
meant to fly with, but merely to slouch and skip
along the surface of the earth. — You wear the livery
of a ridiculous set, you are a cunning and sleek
domestic. No thought can come out of your head
before it has slipped on its uniform. All your
instincts are drugged with a malicious languor, an
arm, a respectability, invented by a set of old women
and mean, cadaverous little boys."
Hobson opened his mouth, had a movement of the
body to speak. But he relapsed.
"You reply, 'What is all this fuss about? I
have done the best for myself. — I was not suited for
any heroic station, like yours. I live sensibly and
quietly, cultivating my vegetable ideas, and also my
roses and Victorian lilies. — I do no harm to any-
body."
" That is not quite the case. That is a little inexact.
Your proceedings possess a herdesque astuteness ; in
the scale against the individual weighing less than the
Yellow Press, yet being a closer and meaner attack.
Also you are essentially spies, in a scurvy, safe and well-
paid service, as I told you before. You are disguised to
look like the thing it is your function to betray — What is
your position ? — You have bought for eight hundred
pounds at an aristocratic educational establishment a
complete mental outfit, a programme of manners.
For four years you trained with other recruits. You
are now a perfectly disciplined social unit, with a pro-
found esprit de corps. The Cambridge set that you
represent is as observed in an average specimen, a
cross between a Quaker, a Pederast, and a Chelsea
artist.— Your Oxford brothers, dating from the Wilde
16
decade, are a stronger body. The Chelsea artists are
much less flimsy. The Quakers are powerful rascals.
You represent, my Hobson, the dregs of Anglo-
Saxon civilization ! — There is nothing softer on
earth. — Your flabby potion is a mixture of the
lees of Liberalism, the poor froth blown off the
decadent nineties, the wardrobe — leavings of a vulgar
Bohemianism with its head- quarters in Chelsea !
"You are concentrated, systematic slop. — There
is nothing in the universe to be said for you. — Any
efficient State would confiscate your property, burn
your wardrobe, that old hat, and the rest, as infecte
and insanitary, and prohibit you from propagating."
Tarr's white collar shone dazzlingly in the sun. —
His bowler hat bobbed and cut clean lines as he
spoke.
" A breed of mild pervasive cabbages has set up
a wide and creeping rot in the West of Europe. —
They make it indirectly a peril and tribulation for
live things to remain in the neighbourhood. You are
systematizing and vulgarizing the individual. — You
are not an individual. You have, I repeat, no right
to that hair and that hat. You are trying to have
the apple and eat it too. — You should be in uniform,
and at work, not uniformly out of uniform, and
libelling the Artist by your idleness. Are you idle ? "
Tarr had drawn up short, turned squarely on
Hobson; in an abrupt and disconnected voice he
asked his question.
Hobson stirred resentfully in his chair. He yawned
a little. He replied :
"Am I idle, did you say ? Yes, I suppose I am
not particularly industrious. But how does that
affect you ? You know you don't mean all that
nonsense. Vous vous moquez de moi ! Where aro
you coming to ! "
"I have explained already where I come in. It
is stupid to be idle. You go to seed. — The only
justification for your slovenly appearance, it is true,
is that it is ideally emblematic."
" My dear Tarr, you're a strange fellow. I can't
17 B
see why these things should occupy you. — You have
just told me a lot of things that may be true or may
not. But at the end of them all — ? Et alors ? —
alors ? — quoi ? one asks. You contradict yourself.
You know you don't think what you talk. You
deafen me with your upside-downness."
He gesticulated, got the French guttural r with
satisfaction, and said the quoi rather briskly.
" In any case my hat is my business !" he con-
cluded quickly, after a moment, getting up with a
curling, luscious laugh.
The garçon hurried up and they paid.
" No, I am responsible for you. — I am one of the
only people who see. That is a responsibility." —
Tarr walked down the boulevard with him, speaking
in his ear almost, and treading on his toes.
" You know Baudelaire's fable of the obsequious
vagabond, cringing for alms? For all reply, the poet
seizes a heavy stick and belabours the beggar with
it. The beggar then, when he is almost beaten to
a pulp, suddenly straightens out beneath the blows ;
expands, stretches ; his eyes dart fire ! He rises up
and falls on the poet tooth and nail. In a few
seconds he has laid him out flat, and is just going
to finish him off, when an agent arrives. — The
poet is enchanted. He has accomplished some-
thing !
" Would it be possible to achieve a work of that
description with you ? No. You are meaner-spirited
than the most abject tramp. I would seize you by
the throat at once if I thought you would black my
eye. But I feel it my duty at least to do this for
your hat. Your hat, at least, will have had its little
drama to-day."
Tarr knocked his hat off into the road. — Without
troubling to wait for the results of this action, he
hurried away down the Boulevard du Paradis.
18
CHAPTER II
A great many of Frederick Tarr's resolutions came
from his conversation. It was a tribunal to which
he brought his hesitations. An active and hustling
spirit presided over this section of his life.
Civilized men have for conversation something of
the superstitious feeling that ignorant men have for
the written or the printed word.
Hobson had attracted a great deal of steam to
himself. Tarr was unsatisfied. — He rushed away
from the Café Berne still strong and with much more
to say. He rushed towards Bertha to say it.
A third of the way he came on a friend who should
have been met before Hobson. Then Bertha and he
could have been spared.
Butcher was a bloody wastrel enamoured of gold
and liberty. — He was a romantic, educating his
schoolboyish sense of adventure up to the pitch of
drama. He had been induced by Tarr to develop
an interest in commerce. He had started a motor
business in Paris, and through circularizing the
Americans resident there and using his English
connexions, he was succeeding on the lines sug-
gested.
Tarr had argued that an interest of this sort would
prevent him from becoming arty and silly. — Tarr
would have driven his entire circle of acquaintances
into commerce if he could. He had at first cherished
the ambition of getting Hobson into a bank in South
Africa.
As he rushed along then a gaunt car met him,
rushing in the opposite direction. Butcher's large
red nose stood under a check cap phenomenally
peaked. A sweater and Yankee jacket exaggerated
his breadth. He was sunk in horizontal massiveness
in the car — almost in the road. A quizzing, heavy
smile broke his face open in an indifferent business-
like way. It was a sour smile, as though half his
face were frozen with cocaine. — He pulled up with
19