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Emory-1535078476-99tq3h.json
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{
"sid": "99tq3h",
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/",
"title:": "Social Scene at Oxford",
"text": "I'm an entering freshman at Oxford, moving in tomorrow, and getting some very cold feet. I'm worried that it's such a small campus that will lead to me not making many, if any, friends, and will be stuck eating alone etc. I'm pretty introverted and didn't have a great time at pre orientation back in June because everyone just seemed so extroverted. Any advice or wisdom would be really appreciated. ",
"author": "totshills",
"created": 1535078476,
"updated": 1634099378,
"over_18": false,
"upvotes": 7,
"upvote_ratio": 0.79,
"comments": {
"e4qe4bi": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4qe4bi/",
"text": "If you don't make many or any friends, that's not the fault of the campus size. In fact, small campuses often lead to many more opportunities to make friends than larger campuses because you're around the same people so much more often so you're forced to get to know them and possibly eventually like to hang out together.\n\n",
"author": "EfficientJellyfish",
"created": 1535079429,
"upvotes": 13,
"replies": {
"e4qe87d": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4qe87d/",
"text": "Yeah, I see your point, that makes sense. I guess I'm just fearing that if it all goes wrong, it will be more humiliating. Thanks so much for replying, it genuinely really helped me. ",
"author": "totshills",
"created": 1535079546,
"upvotes": 2,
"replies": {
"e4qebjg": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4qebjg/",
"text": "But also, just force yourself to be more extroverted. If someone over the next week or two asks if you wanna go do something/wanna hang out, just say yes. Even if there's a reading assignment you want to get started or a paper you have to write that's due in a few days. You're going to be hella tired over the next week or so and just be okay with that. Don't tell someone \"nah I don't wanna hang out/go out to eat. I'm too tired.\" Just suck it up temporarily because you'll be happy in 2/3/4 years that you have best friends as a result of being tired. Keep your door open when you're in your room. People will often just come by from your floor because EVERYONE is trying desperately to make friends.\n\nAlso, everyone tomorrow is nervous, scared, and self-conscious. Literally no one, regardless of how confident and extroverted they are, isn't scared and nervous on their first day of college.",
"author": "EfficientJellyfish",
"created": 1535079648,
"upvotes": 6,
"replies": {}
}
}
}
}
},
"e4qeooe": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4qeooe/",
"text": "Are you me?\n\nCold feet is like the perfect word for it. It doesn't help that I didn't even get to that pre-orientation thing. Like even the geography is off putting because I'm used to the plains of Ohio. And then leaving my girlfriend who I've known since kindergarten sucks too.\n\nBut even though it's a small campus, out of 979 kids there's going to be someone for everyone. And if you haven't checked out the main campus, we should do that sometime, because it's really cool, especially the upper classmen campus where we'll be for our last 2 years.",
"author": "mrfuzzydog4",
"created": 1535080051,
"upvotes": 5,
"replies": {}
},
"e4qgj9p": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4qgj9p/",
"text": "The first 2-3 days of college, *everyone* is nervous, but they're also really friendly because everyone is trying to make new friends. Take advantage of that, meet some new people, see who you connect with, and bam you've got some new friends. Even at the universities with 20,000 students most people still form small groups of friends with similar interests or personalities, Oxford will be no different. If you put yourself out there and actively seek to make friends, then you'll find them. \n\nRemember, everyone is in the same boat as you. ",
"author": "ward0630",
"created": 1535082155,
"upvotes": 4,
"replies": {}
},
"e4r7n6g": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4r7n6g/",
"text": "I'm Ox2014 C2016 and I did not enjoy my oxford time because I was horribly depressed and had a concussion the first 6 months. Here's my golden advice.\n\n1. you'll make friends. No one there knows everyone. The first few weeks everyone is open to everyone joining them.\n2. join a bunch of clubs, and then choose which one or two (don't be like me and be the chair of 8 clubs) fit you. you'll make friends that way too.\n3. this is college. no one will judge you for liking the things you like. i liked to sing so i joined an acapella group and it was the best thing to ever happen to me. if you like WOW start a WOW club. If you like juggling join a juggling club.\n4. Make friends with the people in your classes, your dorm, and make an effort to smile at them when you see them. You don't have to go all out. Just be kind.\n5. My five best friends for life, that i've known for 7 years now, all came from oxford (6 from Dooley's Dolls tbqh). If this doesn't happen for you, it's fine. Everyone's college experience is different.\n6. It's okay to eat alone. I did very often. Get to know yourself as well.\n7. Most importantly, if you aren't making friends or enjoying Emory/Oxford, finish out the semester and transfer.\n\nYoull be fine. Trust me.",
"author": "golgibodi",
"created": 1535122260,
"upvotes": 4,
"replies": {}
},
"e4sbg31": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4sbg31/",
"text": "lol wtf is this dolls shit you oxford kids are wild",
"author": "Sm_Jftwin",
"created": 1535158286,
"upvotes": 4,
"replies": {}
},
"e4r0zbm": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4r0zbm/",
"text": "Oxford is a friendship incubator. Seriously, you\u2019ll look back at this post in 2 year and laugh at the idea that you could make it out of two years of Oxford without forming real, lifelong friends. Have fun and put yourself out there.",
"author": "theEolian",
"created": 1535115741,
"upvotes": 3,
"replies": {}
},
"e4rt8aw": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4rt8aw/",
"text": "[deleted]",
"author": null,
"created": 1535140517,
"upvotes": 2,
"replies": {
"e4s0fwd": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4s0fwd/",
"text": "Totally. I met one of my best friends because my PAL and her PAL were besties so we did an outing together. We still would have met, of course, but it really helped out meeting her so early.",
"author": "rubyreddorothy",
"created": 1535147022,
"upvotes": 1,
"replies": {}
}
}
},
"e4r6gk1": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4r6gk1/",
"text": "I wouldn't worry about it that much. You, like most of the other students going in, are in the same boat. Oxford has a really tight-knit community, and after the first month or so you'll find your groove. There's a little of everything for everyone there, whether it's joining the dance team or a sports group, to playing games in the Hotspot, to just hanging out on the quad. Take the time to hear about the organizations, mingle with some of the people hanging out in major hangout spots like the Hotspot lounge, dorm lounges, etc. You really get what you put into the social scene over there.\n\nI went in as a huge introvert, but along the way I found people who enjoyed the things I did and I still talk to them a few years after graduating from Emory. It takes time, and it takes effort, but it's not as scary at Oxford.",
"author": "X-Yz",
"created": 1535121228,
"upvotes": 1,
"replies": {}
},
"e525h46": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e525h46/",
"text": "Okay so first off, throw your worries about eating alone right out the window because you will be stuck eating alone sometimes unless you\u2019re willing to not eat some days. Even the most popular people in the world have scheduling conflicts or don\u2019t have friends around to eat with 24/7. It\u2019s totaly normal to eat alone in a meal hall, just play on your phone or bring study materials. I promise, no one is going to look at you eating alone and pity you or think you\u2019re weird or something.\n\nAs far as making friends goes, I don\u2019t have that much advice (especially since I know next to nothing about Oxford)? Just put yourself out there. Talk to people next to you in class & in line. Most people are willing to start chatting with a stranger, especially in the beginning of the year. I know it can be hard if you have massive RBF like me, but try to smile or look friendly instead of scowling around. It makes you look more approachable lol.\n\nI\u2019m sure there\u2019s some freshman meet ups going on, and if Oxford has an activities fair, go up to that and sign up for literally everything that interests you. Clubs are a great way to get involved, and even if you only go to one or two meetings, you might end up meeting somebody.\n\nLiterally just force your Snapchat on people, too, that\u2019s what I did as a freshman. That way you can stay in contact and plan things.",
"author": "indearoldemorysheart",
"created": 1535577329,
"upvotes": 1,
"replies": {}
},
"e4qnnye": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4qnnye/",
"text": "Just don\u2019t join dolls. Anything else you do you\u2019ll be fine, the kids in KPN and DPsi are nice. ",
"author": null,
"created": 1535092438,
"upvotes": 0,
"replies": {
"e4r7xxp": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4r7xxp/",
"text": "As far as I've seen, most people who join social clubs are pretty good folks, whether they're in META, KPN, DPsi, OD, Dolls, whatever is still around. They're all decent-sized players for building the community at Oxford with their fun events and tavern parties!",
"author": "X-Yz",
"created": 1535122517,
"upvotes": 2,
"replies": {
"e4rwsnn": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4rwsnn/",
"text": "Omg I forgot about META! ",
"author": "golgibodi",
"created": 1535143683,
"upvotes": 2,
"replies": {}
}
}
},
"e4r78zg": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4r78zg/",
"text": "WOW emmaleigh rude af!!!",
"author": "golgibodi",
"created": 1535121917,
"upvotes": 1,
"replies": {}
},
"e4r7b5c": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4r7b5c/",
"text": "Dolls are GREAT family and I loved my time in there. The kids in KPN and DPsi were the assholes in my time. Choose your own way. You know what feels right and what doesn't. Make friends with your roommate and with the people in your class. Everyone is looking to make new friends.",
"author": "golgibodi",
"created": 1535121969,
"upvotes": 1,
"replies": {
"e4r7o2l": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4r7o2l/",
"text": "Dolls will literally lock you in a car and haze you ",
"author": null,
"created": 1535122281,
"upvotes": 2,
"replies": {
"e4r7vil": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4r7vil/",
"text": "You can always say no. You can always leave. KPN threw eggs at their tap ins and made them eat them raw off their bodies so....hazing happens everywhere the difference is with social clubs you can't get kicked out of the club for not accepting the hazing. Sorry you had a shit experience, you weren't cut out for dolls, but let people make their own choices. Be an adult.",
"author": "golgibodi",
"created": 1535122460,
"upvotes": 0,
"replies": {
"e4r96po": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4r96po/",
"text": "No one is cut out for being blindfolded and told that if the car crashes it\u2019s their fault. ",
"author": null,
"created": 1535123579,
"upvotes": 1,
"replies": {
"e4rly8b": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4rly8b/",
"text": "Don't even bother when someone replies with: \"Well hazing happens everywhere\"...seriously. This is like when Trump went on Fox and said: \"I've been dealing with flippers for 30-40 years\". It reveals a lot about how one functions in life, their values, and how they think things should go. \"Just accept it, cause you can always say no\"...really? I wonder how those who say no are viewed within the organization.",
"author": "oldeaglenewute2022",
"created": 1535134236,
"upvotes": 2,
"replies": {
"e4rwvf4": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4rwvf4/",
"text": "My response was that we aren\u2019t the only ones who haze so if she has issues with us because of hazing, she should have issues with the other groups as well. ",
"author": "golgibodi",
"created": 1535143752,
"upvotes": 0,
"replies": {}
},
"e4ryrwf": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4ryrwf/",
"text": "They are told they will never have friends if they leave, and that the other members will never talk to them again ",
"author": null,
"created": 1535145464,
"upvotes": 0,
"replies": {
"e4s0nt3": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4s0nt3/",
"text": "Eh...that would get a \"who cares?\" from me. If the experience was that traumatic or against one's values, I'd get over (in fact, I just wouldn't want to) not hearing from its members (I imagine one may lose a \"friend\" if they were pledging with them, but that can usually pass). As for the first part, most should have the common sense to know that a single organization cannot control their access to social groups. As small as Oxford is, it ain't high school. A huge portion of Oxford students aren't gonna give a damned about what any of those orgs. do or think. If that chunk won't make friends with someone, then there are other issues.",
"author": "oldeaglenewute2022",
"created": 1535147249,
"upvotes": 2,
"replies": {
"e4s6706": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4s6706/",
"text": "I mean now that I\u2019ve graduated that seems juvenile, but when I was like OP I was so desperate for friends that I believed them. I eventually did quit, after I had crossed and gotten a jersey and everything, because of the clubs inability and unwillingness to rid itself of a member who sexually assaulted and raped three other members. ",
"author": null,
"created": 1535152783,
"upvotes": 0,
"replies": {
"e4tbil8": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4tbil8/",
"text": "That\u2019s on your line, not anyone elses. But congrats you got what you wanted. ",
"author": "golgibodi",
"created": 1535211993,
"upvotes": 0,
"replies": {
"e4tbp6w": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4tbp6w/",
"text": "It\u2019s on my upper line, and that of several others. Dolls has a sexual assault problem and a hazing problem and it is not worth joining. ",
"author": null,
"created": 1535212182,
"upvotes": 1,
"replies": {
"e4tumji": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4tumji/",
"text": "Dolls doesn\u2019t have an assault problem. That one person had an assault problem. Don\u2019t blame a group that\u2019s been around for 100 years doing good for the school and individual students for one shitty guy. I\u2019d think being an emory graduate you\u2019d be smart but I guess some idiots do slip through the cracks in silence. ",
"author": "golgibodi",
"created": 1535231073,
"upvotes": 0,
"replies": {
"e4tz88x": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4tz88x/",
"text": "I mean listen I can name a good five guys in the past six years if you need me to. \n\nOP, do what you think is best and good luck making friends. ",
"author": null,
"created": 1535235768,
"upvotes": 0,
"replies": {}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
},
"e4s1gby": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4s1gby/",
"text": "Maybe it was just my class, but people who dropped Dolls, or any social club for that matter, were never barred from interacting with other members. Hell, one of my better Ox friends dropped Dolls halfway and is still really close friends with not just Dolls from his class, but people who dropped as well. Maybe you know someone who had a sour experience, but I wouldn't say that experience is all-encompassing for all social clubs at Ox, including Dolls.",
"author": "X-Yz",
"created": 1535148031,
"upvotes": 2,
"replies": {
"e4s6926": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4s6926/",
"text": "Yeah it\u2019s silly now but when I was like OP and so nervous about making friends, it seemed real. They say we\u2019ll never speak to you again, and you believe it. ",
"author": null,
"created": 1535152844,
"upvotes": 1,
"replies": {}
}
}
}
}
},
"e4rwpq2": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4rwpq2/",
"text": "They are viewed just fine. I said no to a lot of stuff when I tapped in. You know who\u2019s viewed badly? People who lie. People who badmouth others because of something they chose to do and could have stopped doing at any time of their choosing. People that purposely try and sabotage a group of people that are happy and content going through a rough process just because nobody in the group liked them or wanted them to be there. Quit crying wolf. You could have left the first day. I\u2019m friends with many people who peaced out in the middle of the process. Get our name out of your mouth and MOVE ON. ",
"author": "golgibodi",
"created": 1535143609,
"upvotes": -1,
"replies": {
"e4rxbkr": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4rxbkr/",
"text": "I get the feeling that the person is aware that others haze, but may be comparing the practices. I personally do not know or care much about these organizations, but I have to read and suspect that the person is upset about the specifics of the hazing practices. If they know something about the other organizations' practices and sees them in a different light,then the critique may be fair. But either way, I still do not agree with response like: \"Well others do it too!\" I would recommend not doing that. I feel as if the same could be said about common practices that actually get folks into legal trouble. It doesn't make those acts less problematic or illegal. Instead of responding like that, maybe just sarcastically say: \"Sorry you had a bad experience\" or \"Good luck elsewhere\". If everyone pretty much gets that Greek and other organizations haze, then that person will have little effect on the org's reputation. By responding like that and like this, you give the person complaining a lot of ammo and then probably embolden them to expose more stuff or badmouthing. I would not go out of my way to oppose that one commentator. ",
"author": "oldeaglenewute2022",
"created": 1535144156,
"upvotes": 2,
"replies": {}
},
"e4ryt0v": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4ryt0v/",
"text": "I\u2019m not lying. ",
"author": null,
"created": 1535145493,
"upvotes": 0,
"replies": {}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
},
"e4r7ov3": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4r7ov3/",
"text": "also why the hell would you make your handle your full ass name? ",
"author": "golgibodi",
"created": 1535122301,
"upvotes": 1,
"replies": {
"e4r94sy": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4r94sy/",
"text": "Because I\u2019m open about what happened. Dolls did and continues to haze rap ins and treat them terribly. ",
"author": null,
"created": 1535123534,
"upvotes": 1,
"replies": {
"e4rwwec": {
"link": "/r/Emory/comments/99tq3h/social_scene_at_oxford/e4rwwec/",
"text": "What other club did you tap in to at Oxford? ",
"author": "golgibodi",
"created": 1535143776,
"upvotes": -1,
"replies": {}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}