diff --git a/bosh/deployed_instance_test.go b/bosh/deployed_instance_test.go
index 495332173..0bc2d4e1c 100644
--- a/bosh/deployed_instance_test.go
+++ b/bosh/deployed_instance_test.go
@@ -469,7 +469,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Instance", func() {
 		Context("when there are several scripts and one of them fails to run backup while another one causes an error", func() {
 			expectedStdout := "some stdout"
 			expectedStderr := "some stderr"
-			expectedError := fmt.Errorf("you are fake news")
+			expectedError := fmt.Errorf("I have a problem with your code")
 
 			BeforeEach(func() {
 				backupAndRestoreScripts = []instance.Script{
@@ -602,7 +602,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Instance", func() {
 		Context("when there are several scripts and one of them fails to run post-backup-unlock while another one causes an error", func() {
 			expectedStdout := "some stdout"
 			expectedStderr := "some stderr"
-			expectedError := fmt.Errorf("you are fake news")
+			expectedError := fmt.Errorf("I still have a problem with your code")
 
 			BeforeEach(func() {
 				backupAndRestoreScripts = []instance.Script{
@@ -762,7 +762,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Instance", func() {
 		Context("when there are several scripts and one of them fails to run restore while another one causes an error", func() {
 			expectedStdout := "some stdout"
 			expectedStderr := "some stderr"
-			expectedError := fmt.Errorf("i saw a million and a half people")
+			expectedError := fmt.Errorf("foo bar baz error")
 
 			BeforeEach(func() {
 				backupAndRestoreScripts = []instance.Script{
diff --git a/instance/blob_test.go b/instance/blob_test.go
index 829019dc0..e6661f459 100644
--- a/instance/blob_test.go
+++ b/instance/blob_test.go
@@ -87,7 +87,7 @@ var _ = Describe("blob", func() {
 				var sshError error
 
 				BeforeEach(func() {
-					sshError = fmt.Errorf("I have the best SSH")
+					sshError = fmt.Errorf("SHH causing problems here")
 					sshConnection.StreamReturns([]byte("not relevant"), 0, sshError)
 				})
 
@@ -268,7 +268,7 @@ var _ = Describe("blob", func() {
 
 			Context("when an error occurs", func() {
 				var err error
-				var actualError = errors.New("we will load it up with some bad dudes")
+				var actualError = errors.New("oh noes, more errors")
 
 				BeforeEach(func() {
 					sshConnection.RunReturns(nil, nil, 0, actualError)
@@ -315,23 +315,23 @@ var _ = Describe("blob", func() {
 
 			Describe("when the remote side returns an error", func() {
 				BeforeEach(func() {
-					sshConnection.StreamStdinReturns([]byte("not relevant"), []byte("The beauty of me is that I’m very rich."), 1, nil)
+					sshConnection.StreamStdinReturns([]byte("not relevant"), []byte("All the pies"), 1, nil)
 				})
 
 				It("fails and return the error", func() {
 					Expect(err).To(HaveOccurred())
-					Expect(err.Error()).To(ContainSubstring("The beauty of me is that I’m very rich."))
+					Expect(err.Error()).To(ContainSubstring("All the pies"))
 				})
 			})
 
 			Describe("when there is an error running the stream", func() {
 				BeforeEach(func() {
-					sshConnection.StreamStdinReturns([]byte("not relevant"), []byte("not relevant"), 0, fmt.Errorf("My Twitter has become so powerful"))
+					sshConnection.StreamStdinReturns([]byte("not relevant"), []byte("not relevant"), 0, fmt.Errorf("Errorerrororororororor"))
 				})
 
 				It("fails", func() {
 					Expect(err).To(HaveOccurred())
-					Expect(err.Error()).To(ContainSubstring("My Twitter has become so powerful"))
+					Expect(err.Error()).To(ContainSubstring("Errorerrororororororor"))
 				})
 			})
 
@@ -348,12 +348,12 @@ var _ = Describe("blob", func() {
 
 			Describe("when creating the directory fails because of a connection error", func() {
 				BeforeEach(func() {
-					sshConnection.RunReturns([]byte("not relevant"), []byte("not relevant"), 0, fmt.Errorf("These media people. The most dishonest people"))
+					sshConnection.RunReturns([]byte("not relevant"), []byte("not relevant"), 0, fmt.Errorf("I refuse to create you this directory."))
 				})
 
 				It("fails and returns the error", func() {
 					Expect(err).To(HaveOccurred())
-					Expect(err).To(MatchError("These media people. The most dishonest people"))
+					Expect(err).To(MatchError("I refuse to create you this directory."))
 				})
 			})
 		})
diff --git a/instance/job_finder_test.go b/instance/job_finder_test.go
index 7ebc83ba1..3c2dde196 100644
--- a/instance/job_finder_test.go
+++ b/instance/job_finder_test.go
@@ -209,7 +209,7 @@ backup_name: consul_backup`), nil, 0, nil
 				BeforeEach(func() {
 					sshConnection.RunStub = func(cmd string) ([]byte, []byte, int, error) {
 						if cmd == "/var/vcap/jobs/consul_agent/bin/b-metadata" {
-							return []byte(`they are being really unfair to me`), nil, 0, nil
+							return []byte(`this is very disappointing`), nil, 0, nil
 						}
 						return []byte("/var/vcap/jobs/consul_agent/bin/b-metadata"), nil, 0, nil
 					}
diff --git a/orchestrator/backuper_test.go b/orchestrator/backuper_test.go
index 93baf4873..91725d8b6 100644
--- a/orchestrator/backuper_test.go
+++ b/orchestrator/backuper_test.go
@@ -104,9 +104,9 @@ var _ = Describe("Backup", func() {
 	})
 
 	Describe("failures", func() {
-		var expectedError = fmt.Errorf("Jesus!")
+		var expectedError = fmt.Errorf("Profanity")
 		var assertCleanupError = func() {
-			var cleanupError = fmt.Errorf("he was born in kenya")
+			var cleanupError = fmt.Errorf("gosh, it's a bit filthy in here")
 			BeforeEach(func() {
 				deployment.CleanupReturns(cleanupError)
 			})
@@ -141,7 +141,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Backup", func() {
 		})
 
 		Context("fails if manifest can't be downloaded", func() {
-			var expectedError = fmt.Errorf("he the founder of isis")
+			var expectedError = fmt.Errorf("source of the nile")
 			BeforeEach(func() {
 				deploymentManager.FindReturns(deployment, nil)
 				deployment.IsBackupableReturns(true)
@@ -156,7 +156,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Backup", func() {
 		})
 
 		Context("fails if manifest can't be saved", func() {
-			var expectedError = fmt.Errorf("he the founder of isis")
+			var expectedError = fmt.Errorf("source of the nile")
 
 			BeforeEach(func() {
 				deploymentManager.FindReturns(deployment, nil)
@@ -207,7 +207,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Backup", func() {
 		})
 
 		Context("fails if pre-backup-lock fails", func() {
-			var lockError = orchestrator.NewLockError("it was going to be a smooth transition - NOT")
+			var lockError = orchestrator.NewLockError("smoooooooth jazz")
 
 			BeforeEach(func() {
 				boshClient.GetManifestReturns(deploymentManifest, nil)
@@ -236,7 +236,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Backup", func() {
 			var unlockError orchestrator.PostBackupUnlockError
 
 			BeforeEach(func() {
-				unlockError = orchestrator.NewPostBackupUnlockError("it was going to be a smooth transition - NOT")
+				unlockError = orchestrator.NewPostBackupUnlockError("lalalalala")
 				boshClient.GetManifestReturns(deploymentManifest, nil)
 				artifactManager.CreateReturns(artifact, nil)
 				artifactManager.ExistsReturns(false)
@@ -260,7 +260,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Backup", func() {
 			})
 
 			Context("when the drain artifact fails as well", func() {
-				var drainError = fmt.Errorf("i don't do email but i know about hacking")
+				var drainError = fmt.Errorf("just weird")
 
 				BeforeEach(func() {
 					deployment.CopyRemoteBackupToLocalReturns(drainError)
@@ -272,7 +272,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Backup", func() {
 				})
 
 				Context("cleanup fails as well", func() {
-					var cleanupError = orchestrator.NewCleanupError("he was born in kenya")
+					var cleanupError = orchestrator.NewCleanupError("here we go again")
 					BeforeEach(func() {
 						deployment.CleanupReturns(cleanupError)
 					})
@@ -293,7 +293,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Backup", func() {
 			})
 
 			Context("cleanup fails as well", func() {
-				var cleanupError = fmt.Errorf("he was born in kenya")
+				var cleanupError = fmt.Errorf("leave me alone")
 				BeforeEach(func() {
 					deployment.CleanupReturns(cleanupError)
 				})
@@ -309,7 +309,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Backup", func() {
 		})
 
 		Context("fails if backup cannot be drained", func() {
-			var drainError = fmt.Errorf("they are bringing crime")
+			var drainError = fmt.Errorf("I would like a sandwich")
 			BeforeEach(func() {
 				deploymentManager.FindReturns(deployment, nil)
 				deployment.IsBackupableReturns(true)
@@ -339,7 +339,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Backup", func() {
 		})
 
 		Context("fails if artifact cannot be created", func() {
-			var artifactError = fmt.Errorf("they are bringing crime")
+			var artifactError = fmt.Errorf("I would like a sandwich")
 			BeforeEach(func() {
 				deploymentManager.FindReturns(deployment, nil)
 				deployment.IsBackupableReturns(true)
@@ -368,7 +368,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Backup", func() {
 		})
 
 		Context("fails if the cleanup cannot be completed", func() {
-			var cleanupError = fmt.Errorf("why doesn't he show his birth certificate?")
+			var cleanupError = fmt.Errorf("a tuna sandwich")
 			BeforeEach(func() {
 				deploymentManager.FindReturns(deployment, nil)
 				deployment.IsBackupableReturns(true)
@@ -402,7 +402,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Backup", func() {
 		})
 
 		Context("fails if backup is not a success", func() {
-			var backupError = fmt.Errorf("i have the best words")
+			var backupError = fmt.Errorf("syzygy")
 			BeforeEach(func() {
 				deploymentManager.FindReturns(deployment, nil)
 				deployment.IsBackupableReturns(true)
diff --git a/orchestrator/deployment_manager_test.go b/orchestrator/deployment_manager_test.go
index 75fd5d47d..fb81a77b6 100644
--- a/orchestrator/deployment_manager_test.go
+++ b/orchestrator/deployment_manager_test.go
@@ -44,7 +44,7 @@ var _ = Describe("DeploymentManager", func() {
 		})
 
 		Context("error finding instances", func() {
-			var expectedFindError = fmt.Errorf("some I assume are good people")
+			var expectedFindError = fmt.Errorf("a tuna sandwich")
 			BeforeEach(func() {
 				boshClient.FindInstancesReturns(nil, expectedFindError)
 			})
diff --git a/orchestrator/deployment_test.go b/orchestrator/deployment_test.go
index 3431e084e..bb8577734 100644
--- a/orchestrator/deployment_test.go
+++ b/orchestrator/deployment_test.go
@@ -144,7 +144,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Deployment", func() {
 
 		Context("Multiple instances, some failing to backup", func() {
 			BeforeEach(func() {
-				backupError := fmt.Errorf("My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it!")
+				backupError := fmt.Errorf("very clever sandwich")
 				instance1.IsBackupableReturns(true)
 				instance2.IsBackupableReturns(true)
 				instance1.BackupReturns(backupError)
@@ -511,7 +511,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Deployment", func() {
 		})
 
 		Context("Multiple instances, some failing to restore", func() {
-			var restoreError = fmt.Errorf("I have a plan, but I dont want to tell ISIS what it is")
+			var restoreError = fmt.Errorf("and some salt and vinegar crisps")
 
 			BeforeEach(func() {
 				instance1.IsRestorableReturns(true)
@@ -590,16 +590,16 @@ var _ = Describe("Deployment", func() {
 
 			Context("problem occurs streaming to instance", func() {
 				BeforeEach(func() {
-					backupBlob.StreamToRemoteReturns(fmt.Errorf("Tiny children are not horses"))
+					backupBlob.StreamToRemoteReturns(fmt.Errorf("streaming had a problem"))
 				})
 
 				It("fails", func() {
 					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(HaveOccurred())
-					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(MatchError("Tiny children are not horses"))
+					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(MatchError("streaming had a problem"))
 				})
 			})
 			Context("problem calculating shasum on local", func() {
-				var checksumError = fmt.Errorf("because i am smart")
+				var checksumError = fmt.Errorf("I am so clever")
 				BeforeEach(func() {
 					artifact.FetchChecksumReturns(nil, checksumError)
 				})
@@ -633,12 +633,12 @@ var _ = Describe("Deployment", func() {
 
 			Context("problem occurs while reading from backup", func() {
 				BeforeEach(func() {
-					artifact.ReadFileReturns(nil, fmt.Errorf("an overrated clown"))
+					artifact.ReadFileReturns(nil, fmt.Errorf("leave me alone"))
 				})
 
 				It("fails", func() {
 					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(HaveOccurred())
-					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(MatchError("an overrated clown"))
+					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(MatchError("leave me alone"))
 				})
 			})
 		})
@@ -679,16 +679,16 @@ var _ = Describe("Deployment", func() {
 
 			Context("problem occurs streaming to instance", func() {
 				BeforeEach(func() {
-					backupBlob.StreamToRemoteReturns(fmt.Errorf("Tiny children are not horses"))
+					backupBlob.StreamToRemoteReturns(fmt.Errorf("I'm still here"))
 				})
 
 				It("fails", func() {
 					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(HaveOccurred())
-					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(MatchError("Tiny children are not horses"))
+					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(MatchError("I'm still here"))
 				})
 			})
 			Context("problem calculating shasum on local", func() {
-				var checksumError = fmt.Errorf("because i am smart")
+				var checksumError = fmt.Errorf("oh well")
 				BeforeEach(func() {
 					artifact.FetchChecksumReturns(nil, checksumError)
 				})
@@ -722,12 +722,12 @@ var _ = Describe("Deployment", func() {
 
 			Context("problem occurs while reading from backup", func() {
 				BeforeEach(func() {
-					artifact.ReadFileReturns(nil, fmt.Errorf("an overrated clown"))
+					artifact.ReadFileReturns(nil, fmt.Errorf("foo bar baz read error"))
 				})
 
 				It("fails", func() {
 					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(HaveOccurred())
-					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(MatchError("an overrated clown"))
+					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(MatchError("foo bar baz read error"))
 				})
 			})
 		})
@@ -767,16 +767,16 @@ var _ = Describe("Deployment", func() {
 
 			Context("problem occurs streaming to instance", func() {
 				BeforeEach(func() {
-					backupBlob.StreamToRemoteReturns(fmt.Errorf("Tiny children are not horses"))
+					backupBlob.StreamToRemoteReturns(fmt.Errorf("this is a problem"))
 				})
 
 				It("fails", func() {
 					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(HaveOccurred())
-					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(MatchError("Tiny children are not horses"))
+					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(MatchError("this is a problem"))
 				})
 			})
 			Context("problem calculating shasum on local", func() {
-				var checksumError = fmt.Errorf("because i am smart")
+				var checksumError = fmt.Errorf("checksum error occurred")
 				BeforeEach(func() {
 					artifact.FetchChecksumReturns(nil, checksumError)
 				})
@@ -810,12 +810,12 @@ var _ = Describe("Deployment", func() {
 
 			Context("problem occurs while reading from backup", func() {
 				BeforeEach(func() {
-					artifact.ReadFileReturns(nil, fmt.Errorf("an overrated clown"))
+					artifact.ReadFileReturns(nil, fmt.Errorf("a huge problem"))
 				})
 
 				It("fails", func() {
 					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(HaveOccurred())
-					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(MatchError("an overrated clown"))
+					Expect(copyLocalBackupToRemoteError).To(MatchError("a huge problem"))
 				})
 			})
 		})
@@ -1183,7 +1183,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Deployment", func() {
 
 		Describe("failures", func() {
 			Context("fails if backup cannot be drained", func() {
-				var drainError = fmt.Errorf("they are bringing crime")
+				var drainError = fmt.Errorf("please make it stop")
 
 				BeforeEach(func() {
 					backupBlob = new(fakes.FakeBackupBlob)
@@ -1201,7 +1201,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Deployment", func() {
 			})
 
 			Context("fails if file cannot be created", func() {
-				var fileError = fmt.Errorf("i have a very good brain")
+				var fileError = fmt.Errorf("not a good file")
 				BeforeEach(func() {
 					instances = []orchestrator.Instance{instance1}
 					instance1.BlobsToBackupReturns([]orchestrator.BackupBlob{backupBlob})
@@ -1235,7 +1235,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Deployment", func() {
 			})
 
 			Context("fails if the remote shasum cant be calulated", func() {
-				remoteShasumError := fmt.Errorf("i have created so many jobs")
+				remoteShasumError := fmt.Errorf("this shasum is not happy")
 				var writeCloser1 *fakes.FakeWriteCloser
 
 				BeforeEach(func() {
diff --git a/orchestrator/error_test.go b/orchestrator/error_test.go
index fdc0a65e7..36a47a577 100644
--- a/orchestrator/error_test.go
+++ b/orchestrator/error_test.go
@@ -19,7 +19,7 @@ type ErrorCase struct {
 }
 
 var _ = Describe("Error", func() {
-	var genericError = errors.New("You are fake news")
+	var genericError = errors.New("Just a little error")
 
 	var lockError = orchestrator.NewLockError("LOCK_ERROR")
 	var backupError = orchestrator.NewBackupError("BACKUP_ERROR")
@@ -108,7 +108,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Error", func() {
 
 		Context("errors", func() {
 			errorCases := []ErrorCase{
-				{"genericError", []error{genericError}, 1, "You are fake news"},
+				{"genericError", []error{genericError}, 1, "borked"},
 				{"backupError", []error{backupError}, 1, "BACKUP_ERROR"},
 				{"lockError", []error{lockError}, 4, "LOCK_ERROR"},
 				{"unlockError", []error{postBackupUnlockError}, 8, "POST_BACKUP_ERROR"},
@@ -159,7 +159,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Error", func() {
 			It("returns exit code 17 (16 | 1)", func() {
 				exitCode, errorMessage := orchestrator.ProcessBackupError([]error{cleanupError, genericError})
 				Expect(exitCode).To(Equal(17))
-				Expect(errorMessage).To(ContainSubstring("You are fake news"))
+				Expect(errorMessage).To(ContainSubstring("Just a little error"))
 				Expect(errorMessage).To(ContainSubstring("CLEANUP_ERROR"))
 			})
 		})
diff --git a/orchestrator/restorer_test.go b/orchestrator/restorer_test.go
index dd2cc549b..026f0d404 100644
--- a/orchestrator/restorer_test.go
+++ b/orchestrator/restorer_test.go
@@ -92,7 +92,7 @@ var _ = Describe("restorer", func() {
 		Describe("failures", func() {
 
 			var assertCleanupError = func() {
-				var cleanupError = fmt.Errorf("he was born in kenya")
+				var cleanupError = fmt.Errorf("too dirty")
 				BeforeEach(func() {
 					deployment.CleanupReturns(cleanupError)
 				})
@@ -104,16 +104,16 @@ var _ = Describe("restorer", func() {
 
 			Context("fails to find deployment", func() {
 				BeforeEach(func() {
-					deploymentManager.FindReturns(nil, fmt.Errorf("they will pay for the wall"))
+					deploymentManager.FindReturns(nil, fmt.Errorf("no deployment here"))
 				})
 
 				It("returns an error", func() {
-					Expect(restoreError).To(MatchError("they will pay for the wall"))
+					Expect(restoreError).To(MatchError("no deployment here"))
 				})
 			})
 
 			Context("fails if the artifact cant be opened", func() {
-				var artifactOpenError = fmt.Errorf("i have the best brain")
+				var artifactOpenError = fmt.Errorf("I can't open this")
 				BeforeEach(func() {
 					deploymentManager.FindReturns(deployment, nil)
 					artifactManager.OpenReturns(nil, artifactOpenError)
@@ -134,7 +134,7 @@ var _ = Describe("restorer", func() {
 			})
 
 			Context("fails, if the cleanup fails", func() {
-				var cleanupError = fmt.Errorf("we gotta deal with china")
+				var cleanupError = fmt.Errorf("still too dirty")
 				BeforeEach(func() {
 					deploymentManager.FindReturns(deployment, nil)
 					artifactManager.OpenReturns(artifact, nil)
@@ -151,7 +151,7 @@ var _ = Describe("restorer", func() {
 				})
 			})
 			Context("fails if can't check if artifact is valid", func() {
-				var artifactValidError = fmt.Errorf("we will win so much")
+				var artifactValidError = fmt.Errorf("I don't like this artifact")
 
 				BeforeEach(func() {
 					deploymentManager.FindReturns(deployment, nil)
@@ -195,7 +195,7 @@ var _ = Describe("restorer", func() {
 
 			Context("if checking the deployment topology fails", func() {
 				BeforeEach(func() {
-					artifact.DeploymentMatchesReturns(true, fmt.Errorf("my fingers are long and beautiful"))
+					artifact.DeploymentMatchesReturns(true, fmt.Errorf("I am not the same"))
 				})
 
 				It("returns an error", func() {
@@ -224,7 +224,7 @@ var _ = Describe("restorer", func() {
 			})
 
 			Context("if running the restore script fails", func() {
-				var restoreError = fmt.Errorf("there is something in that birth certificate")
+				var restoreError = fmt.Errorf("I will not restore this thing")
 				BeforeEach(func() {
 					deployment.RestoreReturns(restoreError)
 				})
diff --git a/ssh/connection_test.go b/ssh/connection_test.go
index e3bb4f809..680afc55e 100644
--- a/ssh/connection_test.go
+++ b/ssh/connection_test.go
@@ -240,7 +240,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Connection", func() {
 				})
 
 				BeforeEach(func() {
-					reader = bytes.NewBufferString("they will pay for the wall")
+					reader = bytes.NewBufferString("I am from the reader")
 					command = "cat > /tmp/foo; echo 'here is something on stdout'; echo 'here is something on stderr' >&2"
 				})
 
@@ -254,7 +254,7 @@ var _ = Describe("Connection", func() {
 
 				It("reads stdout from the reader", func() {
 					stdout, _, _, _ := conn.Run("cat /tmp/foo")
-					Expect(string(stdout)).To(Equal("they will pay for the wall"))
+					Expect(string(stdout)).To(Equal("I am from the reader"))
 				})
 
 				It("drains stdout", func() {