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<title>Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, Chapter 64: Omake Files 4, Alternate Parallels</title>
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<div id="nav-top"><form action="../go.php" method="GET" id="nav-form-top" target="_top"><div class="nav-prev"><a href="../chapter/63" title="Chapter 63: TSPE, Aftermaths" accesskey="p" target="_top">« Prev</a></div><div class="nav-dropdown"><select name="chapter" class="nav-select">
<option value="home">Home</option>
<option value="1">Chapter 1: A Day of Very Low Probability</option>
<option value="2">Chapter 2: Everything I Believe Is False</option>
<option value="3">Chapter 3: Comparing Reality To Its Alternatives</option>
<option value="4">Chapter 4: The Efficient Market Hypothesis</option>
<option value="5">Chapter 5: The Fundamental Attribution Error</option>
<option value="6">Chapter 6: The Planning Fallacy</option>
<option value="7">Chapter 7: Reciprocation</option>
<option value="8">Chapter 8: Positive Bias</option>
<option value="9">Chapter 9: Title Redacted, Part I</option>
<option value="10">Chapter 10: Self Awareness, Part II</option>
<option value="11">Chapter 11: Omake Files 1, 2, 3</option>
<option value="12">Chapter 12: Impulse Control</option>
<option value="13">Chapter 13: Asking the Wrong Questions</option>
<option value="14">Chapter 14: The Unknown and the Unknowable</option>
<option value="15">Chapter 15: Conscientiousness</option>
<option value="16">Chapter 16: Lateral Thinking</option>
<option value="17">Chapter 17: Locating the Hypothesis</option>
<option value="18">Chapter 18: Dominance Hierarchies</option>
<option value="19">Chapter 19: Delayed Gratification</option>
<option value="20">Chapter 20: Bayes's Theorem</option>
<option value="21">Chapter 21: Rationalization</option>
<option value="22">Chapter 22: The Scientific Method</option>
<option value="23">Chapter 23: Belief in Belief</option>
<option value="24">Chapter 24: Machiavellian Intelligence Hypothesis</option>
<option value="25">Chapter 25: Hold Off on Proposing Solutions</option>
<option value="26">Chapter 26: Noticing Confusion</option>
<option value="27">Chapter 27: Empathy</option>
<option value="28">Chapter 28: Reductionism</option>
<option value="29">Chapter 29: Egocentric Bias</option>
<option value="30">Chapter 30: Working in Groups, Pt 1</option>
<option value="31">Chapter 31: Working in Groups, Pt 2</option>
<option value="32">Chapter 32: Interlude: Personal Financial Management</option>
<option value="33">Chapter 33: Coordination Problems, Pt 1</option>
<option value="34">Chapter 34: Coordination Problems, Pt 2</option>
<option value="35">Chapter 35: Coordination Problems, Pt 3</option>
<option value="36">Chapter 36: Status Differentials</option>
<option value="37">Chapter 37: Interlude: Crossing the Boundary</option>
<option value="38">Chapter 38: The Cardinal Sin</option>
<option value="39">Chapter 39: Pretending to be Wise, Pt 1</option>
<option value="40">Chapter 40: Pretending to be Wise, Pt 2</option>
<option value="41">Chapter 41: Frontal Override</option>
<option value="42">Chapter 42: Courage</option>
<option value="43">Chapter 43: Humanism, Pt 1</option>
<option value="44">Chapter 44: Humanism, Pt 2</option>
<option value="45">Chapter 45: Humanism, Pt 3</option>
<option value="46">Chapter 46: Humanism, Pt 4</option>
<option value="47">Chapter 47: Personhood Theory</option>
<option value="48">Chapter 48: Utilitarian Priorities</option>
<option value="49">Chapter 49: Prior Information</option>
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<option value="51">Chapter 51: Title Redacted, Pt 1</option>
<option value="52">Chapter 52: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Pt 2</option>
<option value="53">Chapter 53: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Pt 3</option>
<option value="54">Chapter 54: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Pt 4</option>
<option value="55">Chapter 55: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Pt 5</option>
<option value="56">Chapter 56: TSPE, Constrained Optimization, Pt 6</option>
<option value="57">Chapter 57: TSPE, Constrained Cognition, Pt 7</option>
<option value="58">Chapter 58: TSPE, Constrained Cognition, Pt 8</option>
<option value="59">Chapter 59: TSPE, Curiosity, Pt 9</option>
<option value="60">Chapter 60: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Pt 10</option>
<option value="61">Chapter 61: TSPE, Secrecy and Openness, Pt 11</option>
<option value="62">Chapter 62: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Final</option>
<option value="63">Chapter 63: TSPE, Aftermaths</option>
<option value="64" selected>Chapter 64: Omake Files 4, Alternate Parallels</option>
<option value="65">Chapter 65: Contagious Lies</option>
<option value="66">Chapter 66: Self Actualization, Pt 1</option>
<option value="67">Chapter 67: Self Actualization, Pt 2</option>
<option value="68">Chapter 68: Self Actualization, Pt 3</option>
<option value="69">Chapter 69: Self Actualization, Pt 4</option>
<option value="70">Chapter 70: Self Actualization, Pt 5</option>
<option value="71">Chapter 71: Self Actualization, Pt 6</option>
<option value="72">Chapter 72: SA, Plausible Deniability, Pt 7</option>
<option value="73">Chapter 73: SA, The Sacred and the Mundane, Pt 8</option>
<option value="74">Chapter 74: SA, Escalation of Conflicts, Pt 9</option>
<option value="75">Chapter 75: Self Actualization Final, Responsibility</option>
<option value="76">Chapter 76: Interlude with the Confessor: Sunk Costs</option>
<option value="77">Chapter 77: SA, Aftermaths: Surface Appearances</option>
<option value="78">Chapter 78: Taboo Tradeoffs Prelude: Cheating</option>
<option value="79">Chapter 79: Taboo Tradeoffs, Pt 1</option>
<option value="80">Chapter 80: Taboo Tradeoffs, Pt 2, The Horns Effect</option>
<option value="81">Chapter 81: Taboo Tradeoffs, Pt 3</option>
<option value="82">Chapter 82: Taboo Tradeoffs, Final</option>
<option value="83">Chapter 83: Taboo Tradeoffs, Aftermath 1</option>
<option value="84">Chapter 84: Taboo Tradeoffs, Aftermath 2</option>
<option value="85">Chapter 85: Taboo Tradeoffs, Aftermath 3, Distance</option>
<option value="86">Chapter 86: Multiple Hypothesis Testing</option>
<option value="87">Chapter 87: Hedonic Awareness</option>
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<div id="chapter-title">Chapter 64: Omake Files 4, Alternate
Parallels<br /></div>
<div style='' class='storycontent' id='storycontent'>
<p>If you're five hours past your bedtime and still reading this,
may I suggest getting some sleep? The fic will still be here
tomorrow... unless, you know, something <i>bad</i> happens to it
and the next morning there's just a 404 at this address and you're
left with nothing but a fading memory and an eternal regret that
you didn't stay awake longer and keep reading while you still had
the chance... but hey, how probable is that?</p>
<p>This story spreads by blogging, tweeting, word of mouth,
favoriting, plugging on forums, and adding to lists; and remember,
if the readers before you hadn't taken a moment to do that, you
probably wouldn't have found this. If that's not enough to motivate
you, then let me add that if you don't help spread rationality,
Hermione will be sad. You don't want her to be sad, right?</p>
<p>Don't forget to visit LessWrong dot com and read the Sequences,
the true existence of which this fic is but a shadow. I recommend
starting with the sequence <i>How to Actually Change Your
Mind.</i></p>
<p>And now, with all universes owned by their respective creators,
I present:<i><br /></i></p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p style="text-align:center;"><b>OMAKE FILES #4:</b></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><b>THE OTHER FANFICTIONS<br />
YOU COULD'VE BEEN READING</b></p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p style="text-align:center;">LORD OF THE RATIONALITY</p>
<p>Frodo glanced at all the faces, but they were not turned to him.
All the Council sat with downcast eyes, as if in deep thought. A
great dread fell on him, as if he was awaiting the pronouncement of
some doom that he had long foreseen and vainly hoped might after
all never be spoken. An overwhelming longing to rest and remain at
peace by Bilbo's side in Rivendell filled all his heart. At last
with an effort he spoke, and wondered to hear his own words, as if
some other will was using his small voice.</p>
<p>"We cannot," said Frodo. "We must not. Do you not see? It is
exactly what the Enemy desires. All of this he has foreseen."</p>
<p>The faces turned to him, puzzled the Dwarves and grave the
Elves; sternness in the eyes of the Men; and so keen the gazes of
Elrond and of Gandalf that Frodo almost could not withstand it. It
was very hard, then, not to grasp the Ring in his hand, and harder
still not to put it on, to face them as only Frodo.</p>
<p>"Do you not question it?" Frodo said, thin like the wind his
voice, and wavering like a breeze. "You have chosen, of all things,
to send the Ring into Mordor; should you not wonder? How did it
come to this? That we might, of all our choices, do that single
thing our Enemy most desires? Perhaps the Cracks of Doom are
already guarded, strongly enough to hold off Gandalf and Elrond and
Glorfindel all together; or perhaps the Master of that place has
cooled the lava there, set it to trap the Ring so that he may
simply bring it out after it is thrown in..." A memory of awful
clarity came over Frodo then, and a flash of black laughter, and
the thought came to him that it was <i>just</i> what the Enemy
would do. Only the thought came to him so: <i>thus it would amuse
me to do, if I meant to rule...</i></p>
<p>There were doubtful glances exchanged within the council; Glóin
and Gimli and Boromir were now looking at the Elves more
skeptically than before, like they had awoken out of a dream of
words.</p>
<p>"The Enemy is very wise," said Gandalf, "and weighs all things
to a nicety in the scales of his malice. But the only measure that
he knows is desire, desire for power; and so he judges all hearts.
Into his heart the thought will not enter that any will refuse it,
that having the Ring we may seek to destroy it -"</p>
<p>"He <i>will</i> think of it!" cried Frodo. He struggled for
words, trying to convey things that had once seemed perfect in his
comprehension, and then faded like melting snow. "If the Enemy
thought that all his foes were moved by desire for power alone - he
would guess wrongly, over and over, and the Maker of this Ring
would <i>see</i> that, he would <i>know</i> that somewhere he had
made a mistake!" Frodo's hands stretched forth pleadingly.</p>
<p>Boromir stirred, and his voice was doubtful. "You speak fair of
the Enemy," said Boromir, "for one of his foes."</p>
<p>Frodo's mouth opened and shut in desperate bewilderment; for
Frodo knew, he knew the Man was mad, but he could think of nothing
to say.</p>
<p>Then Bilbo spoke, and his withered voice silenced the whole
room, even Elrond who had been about to speak. "Frodo is right, I
fear," whispered the old hobbit. "I remember, I remember what it
was like. To see with the Black Sight. I remember. The Enemy will
think that we might not trust one another, that the weaker among us
will propose to destroy the Ring so that the stronger may not have
it. He knows that even one not truly good might still cry to
destroy the Ring, to make a show of pretended goodness. And the
Enemy will <i>not</i> think it impossible that such a decision be
made by this council, for you see, he does not trust us to be
wise." A whispering chuckle rose from the ancient hobbit's throat.
"And if he did - why, he would <i>still</i> guard the Cracks of
Doom. It would cost him little."</p>
<p>Now foreboding was on the faces even of the Elves, and the Wise;
Elrond had frowned, and the sharp eyebrows of Gandalf furrowed.</p>
<p>Frodo gazed at them all, feeling a wildness come over him, a
despair; and as his heart weakened a shadow came over his vision, a
darkness and a wavering. From within the shadow Frodo saw Gandalf,
and the wizard's strength was revealed as weakness, and his wisdom
folly. For Frodo knew, as the Ring seemed to drag and weigh on his
breast, that Gandalf had not thought at all of history and lore,
when the wizard spoke of how the Enemy would not understand any
desire save power; that Gandalf had not remembered how Sauron had
cast down and corrupted the Men of Númenor in the days of their
glory. Just as it had not occurred to Gandalf that the Enemy might
learn to comprehend foes of goodwill by <i>looking...</i></p>
<p>Frodo's gaze swung to Elrond, but there was no hope there, no
answer and no rescue in the shadowy vision; for Elrond had let
Isildur go, carrying the Ring from the Cracks of Doom where it
should have been destroyed, to the cost of all this war. Not for
Isildur's own sake, not for friendship had it been done, for the
Ring had killed Isildur in the end, and far worse fates could have
followed him. But the Doom that had stemmed from Isildur's deed
would have seemed unsure to Elrond then, unsure and distant in
time; and yet the cost to Elrond himself of taking his sword's
pommel to the back of Isildur's head would have been surer, and
nearer...</p>
<p>As though in desperation, Frodo turned to look at Aragorn, the
weathered man who had donned his travel-worn clothes for this
council, the heir of kings who spoke softly to hobbits. But Frodo's
vision seemed to double, and in the shadowy second image Frodo saw
a Man who had spent too much of his youth among Elves, who had
learned to wear humble and stained clothes amid the gold and
jewels, knowing he could not match them wisdom for wisdom, and
hoping to outplay them in a fashion they would not emulate...</p>
<p>In the sight of the Ring, which was the sight of the Ring's own
Maker, all noble things faded into stratagems and lies, a world of
grey and darkness without any light. They had not made their
choices knowingly, Gandalf or Elrond or Aragorn; the impulses had
come from the dark hidden parts of themselves, the black secret
depths which the Ring had rendered plain in Frodo's vision. Would
they outthink the Shadow, when they could not comprehend even their
own selves, or the forces that moved them?</p>
<p>"Frodo!" came the sharp whisper of Bilbo's voice, and Frodo came
to himself, and halted his hand reaching up toward where the Ring
lay on his breast, on its chain, dragging like a vast stone around
his neck.</p>
<p>Reaching up to grasp the Ring wherein all answers lay.</p>
<p>"How did you bear this thing?" Frodo whispered to Bilbo, as if
the two of them were the only souls in the room, though all the
Council watched them. "For years? I cannot imagine it."</p>
<p>"I kept it locked in a room to which only Gandalf had the key,"
said his uncle, "and when I began to imagine ways to open it, I
remembered Gollum."</p>
<p>A shudder went through Frodo, remembering the tales. The horror
of the Misty Mountains, thinking, always thinking in the dark;
ruling the goblins from the shadows and filling the tunnels with
traps; but for Bilbo wearing the ring that first time not a single
dwarf would have lived. And now, Legolas the Elf had told them,
Gollum had given up on sending his agents against the Shire, had at
last found the courage to leave his mountains and seek the Ring
himself. That was Gollum, the fate which Frodo would share himself,
if the Ring were not destroyed.</p>
<p>Only they had no way to destroy the Ring.</p>
<p>The Shadow had foreseen every move they could make. Had
<i>almost</i> - Frodo still could not imagine how it had been done,
how the Shadow had arranged such a thing - had <i>almost</i>
maneuvered the Council into sending the Ring straight into Mordor
with only a tiny guard set on it, as they would have done if Frodo
and Bilbo had not been there.</p>
<p>And having foregone that swiftest of all possible defeats, the
only question remaining was how long it would take to lose. Gandalf
had delayed too long, delayed far too long to set this march in
motion. It could have been so easy, if only Bilbo had set out
eighty years earlier, if only Bilbo had been told what Gandalf had
already suspected, if only Gandalf's heart had not silently
flinched away from the prospect of being embarrassingly
wrong...</p>
<p>Frodo's hand spasmed on his breast; without thought, his fingers
began to rise again toward the vast weight of the chain on which
the Ring hung.</p>
<p>All he had to do was put on the Ring.</p>
<p>Just that, and all would become clear to him, once more the
slowness and mud would leave his thoughts, all possibilities and
futures transparent to him, he would see through the Shadow's plans
and devise an irresistible counterstroke -</p>
<p>- and he would never be able to take off the Ring, not again,
not by any will that would be left to him. All Frodo had of those
moments were fading memories, but he knew that it had felt like
dying, to let all his towers of thought collapse and become only
Frodo once more. It had felt like dying, he remembered that much of
Weathertop even if he remembered little else. And if he did wear
the Ring again, it would be better to die with it on his finger, to
end his life while he was still himself; for Frodo knew that he
could not withstand the effects of wearing the Ring a second time,
not afterward when the limitless clarity was lost to him...</p>
<p>Frodo looked around the Council, at the poor lost leaderless
Wise, and he knew they could not defeat the Shadow by their own
strength.</p>
<p>"I will wear it one last time," Frodo said, his voice broken and
failing, as he had known from the beginning that he would say in
the end, "one last time to find the answer for this Council, and
then there will be other hobbits."</p>
<p>"<i>No!</i> " screamed the voice of Sam, as the other hobbit
began to rush forward from where he had hidden; even as Frodo, with
movement as swift and precise as a Nazgûl, took out the Ring from
beneath his shirt; and somehow Bilbo was already standing there and
had already thrust his finger through.</p>
<p>It all happened before even Gandalf's staff could point, before
Aragorn could level the hilt-shard of his sword; the Dwarves
shouted in shock, and the Elves were dismayed.</p>
<p>"Of course," said Bilbo's voice, as Frodo began to weep, "I see
it now, I understand everything at last. Listen, listen and
swiftly, here is what you must do -"</p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p style="text-align:center;">THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE</p>
<p>With a critical eye, Peter looked over the encamped Centaurs
with their bows, Beavers with their long daggers, and talking Bears
with their chain-mail draped over them. He was in charge, because
he was one of the mythical Sons of Adam and had declared himself
High King of Narnia; but the truth was he didn't really know much
about encampments, weapons, and guard patrols. In the end all he
could see was that they all looked proud and confident, and Peter
had to hope they were right about that; because if you couldn't
believe in your own people, you couldn't believe in anyone.</p>
<p>"They'd scare <i>me</i>, if I had to fight 'em," Peter said
finally, "but I don't know if it's enough to beat...
<i>her.</i>"</p>
<p>"You don't suppose this mysterious lion will actually show up
and help us, d'you?" said Lucy. Her voice was very quiet, so that
none of the creatures around them would hear. "Only it'd be nice to
really have him, don't you think, instead of just letting people
think that he put us in charge?"</p>
<p>Susan shook her head, shaking the magical arrows in the quiver
on her back. "If there was really someone like that," Susan said,
"he wouldn't have let the White Witch cover the land in winter for
a hundred years, would he?"</p>
<p>"I had the strangest dream," Lucy said, her voice even quieter,
"where we didn't have to organize any creatures or convince them to
fight, we just walked into this place and the lion was already
here, with all the armies already mustered, and he went and rescued
Edmund, and then we rode alongside him into this tremendous battle
where he killed the White Witch..."</p>
<p>"Did the dream have a moral?" said Peter.</p>
<p>"I don't know," said Lucy, blinking and looking a little
puzzled. "In the dream it all seemed pointless somehow."</p>
<p>"I think maybe the land of Narnia was trying to tell you," said
Susan, "or maybe it was just your own dreams trying to tell you,
that if there was really such a person as that lion, there'd be no
use for <i>us</i>."</p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p style="text-align:center;">MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS
SCIENCE</p>
<p>"Applejack, who told me outright that I was mistaken, represents
the spirit of... <i>honesty!</i> " The dusky pony raised her head
even higher, her mane blowing like a wind about the night sky of
her long neck, her eyes blazing like stars. "Fluttershy, who
approached the manticore to find out about the thorn in its paw,
represents the spirit of... <i>investigation!</i> Pinkie Pie, who
realized that the awful faces were just trees, represents the
spirit of... <i>formulating alternative hypotheses!</i> Rarity, who
solved the serpent's problem represents the spirit of...
<i>creativity!</i> Rainbow Dash, who saw through the false offer of
her heart's desire, represents the spirit of... <i>analysis!</i>
Marie-Susan, who made us convince her of our theories before she
funded our expedition, represents the spirit of... <i>peer
review!</i> And when those Elements are ignited by the spark of
curiosity that resides in the heart of all of us, it creates the
seventh element - the Element of Sci-"</p>
<p>The blast of power that came forth was like a wind of brilliant
lava, it caught Marie-Susan before the pony could even flinch, and
stripped her flesh from her bones and crumbled her bones to ash
before any of them had the chance to rear in shock.</p>
<p>From the dark thing that stood in the center of the dais where
the Elements had shattered, from the seething madness and despair
surrounding the scarce-recognizable void-black outline of a horse,
came a voice that seemed to bypass all ears and burn like cold
fire, sounding directly in the brain of every pony who heard:</p>
<p><i>Did you expect me to just stand there and let you
finish?</i></p>
<p>The screams began, then, echoing around that ancient and
abandoned throne room; and Applejack fell to her forelocks beside
the still-glowing ash that was all that remained of Marie-Susan's
bones, looking too shattered even to sob.</p>
<p>Twilight Sparkle stared at the horror that had once been
Nightmare Moon, racking her brains with frantic desperation and
realizing that it was over, they were doomed, it was hopeless
without Marie-Susan; everyone knew that no matter how honest,
investigating, skeptical, creative, analytic, or curious you were,
what <i>really</i> made your work Science was when you published
your results in a prestigious journal. Everyone knew that...</p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p style="text-align:center;">THE VILLAGE HIDDEN IN THE CLARITY</p>
<p>"Consider the computational power required to manifest over a
hundred shadow clones," the Uchiha genius said in his dispassionate
tones. "It is an error of rationality, Sakura, to say 'fluke' and
think you have explained anything. 'Fluke' is simply the name one
gives to data that one is ignoring."</p>
<p>"But it <i>has</i> to be a fluke!" Sakura yelled. With effort,
she calmed her voice into the careful precision expected of a
rationality ninja; it wouldn't do to have her crush think she was
stupid. "Like you said, the computational power required to use
over a hundred Kage Bunshin is simply absurd. We're talking the
level of a major superintelligence. Naruto's the dead last of our
class. He's not even jounin-level smart, let alone a
superintelligence!"</p>
<p>The Uchiha's eyes gleamed, almost as though he had activated his
Smartingan. "Naruto can manifest a hundred independently acting
clones. He <i>must</i> have the raw brainpower. But, under ordinary
circumstances, something prevents him from using this computational
power efficiently... like a mind at war within itself, perhaps? We
now have cause to believe that Naruto is in some way connected to a
superintelligence, and as a recently graduated genin, he, like us,
is fifteen years old. What happened fifteen years ago, Sakura?"</p>
<p>It took a moment for Sakura to comprehend, to remember, and then
she understood.</p>
<p>The attack of the Nine-Brains Demon Fox.</p>
<p>Just a small bone-white creature with big ears and bigger tail
and beady red eyes. It was no stronger than an ordinary fox, it
didn't breathe fire or flash laser eyes, it possessed no chakra and
no magic of any kind, but its intelligence was over nine thousand
times that of a human being.</p>
<p>Hundreds had been killed, half the buildings wrecked, almost the
whole village of Beisugakure had been destroyed.</p>
<p>"You think the Kyubey is hiding inside Naruto?" Sakura said. A
moment later, her brain automatically went on to fill in the
obvious implications of the theory. "And the software conflict
between their existences is why he acts like a gibbering idiot half
the time, but can control a hundred Kage Bunshin. Huh. That
makes... a lot of sense... actually..."</p>
<p>Sasuke gave her the brief, contemptuous nod of someone who had
figured all this out on his own, without anyone else needing to
prompt <i>him</i>.</p>
<p>"Ano..." said Sakura. Only years of sanity exercises channeled
her complete screaming panic into pragmatically useful policy
options. "Shouldn't we... <i>tell</i> someone about this? Like,
sometime in the next five seconds?"</p>
<p>"The adults already know," Sasuke said emotionlessly. "It is the
obvious explanation for their treatment of Naruto. No, the real
question is how this fits into the outwitting of the Uchiha..."</p>
<p>"I don't see how it fits at all -" began Sakura.</p>
<p>"It <i>must</i> fit!" A tinge of frantic emotion flickered in
Sasuke's voice. "I asked that man <i>why</i> he did it, and he told
me that when I knew the answer to that, it would explain
<i>everything!</i> Surely <i>this</i> must also be part of what is
to be explained!"</p>
<p>Sakura sighed to herself. Her personal hypothesis was that
Itachi had just been trying to drive his brother into clinical
paranoia.</p>
<p>"Yo, kids," said the voice of their rationality sensei from
their radio earpieces. "There's a village in Wave trying to build a
bridge, and it keeps falling down for no reason anyone can figure
out. Meet up at the gates at noon. It's time for your first
C-ranked analysis mission."</p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p style="text-align:center;">ERDŐS IN CHAINS</p>
<p>"How could you do it, Anita?" said Richard, his voice very
tight. "How could you coauthor a paper with Jean-Claude? You
<i>study</i> the undead, you don't collaborate with them on
papers!"</p>
<p>"And what about you?" I spat. "You coauthored a paper with
Sylvie! It's all right for <i>you</i> to be prolific but not
<i>me?</i> "</p>
<p>"I'm the <i>head of her institute</i>," Richard growled. I could
feel the waves of science radiating off him; he was angry. "I
<i>have</i> to work with Sylvie, it doesn't mean anything! I
thought our own research was special, Anita!"</p>
<p>"It <i>is,</i>" I said, feeling helpless about my inability to
explain things to Richard. He didn't understand the thrill of being
a polymath, the new worlds that were opening up to me. "I didn't
share <i>our</i> research with anyone -"</p>
<p>"But you wanted to," said Richard.</p>
<p>I didn't say anything, but I knew that the look on my face said
it all.</p>
<p>"God, Anita, you've changed," said Richard. He seemed to slump
in on himself. "Do you realize that the monsters are joking about
Blake numbers, now? I used to be your partner in everything, and
now - I'm just another werewolf with a Blake number of 1."</p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p style="text-align:center;">THUNDERSMARTS</p>
<p>"I am <i>sick</i> of this!" shouted Liono. "Sick of doing this
<i>every single week!</i> Our species was capable of
<i>interstellar travel</i>, Panthro, I <i>know</i> the quantities
of energy involved! There is no <i>way</i> you can't build a nuke
or steer an asteroid or <i>somehow</i> blow up that ever-living
idiot's pyramid!"</p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p style="text-align:center;">HE-MAN AND THE MASTERS OF
RATIONALITY</p>
<p>"Fabulous secret knowledge was revealed to me on the day I held
aloft my magic book and said: <i>By the power of Bayes's
Theorem!</i> "</p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p style="text-align:center;">FATE/SANE NIGHT</p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><i>I am the core of my thoughts<br />
Belief is my body<br />
And choice is my blood<br />
I have revised over a thousand judgments<br />
Unafraid of loss<br />
Nor aware of gain<br /></i><i>Have withstood pain to update many
times<br />
Waiting for truth's arrival.<br />
This is the one uncertain path.</i><br />
<i>My whole life has been...<br />
Unlimited Bayes Works!</i></p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p style="text-align:center;">THE NAME OF THE RATIONALITY</p>
<p>The eleven-year-old boy who would someday become legend - slayer
of dragons, killer of kings - had but one thought upon his mind, as
he approached the Sorting Hat to enter into the study of
mysteries.</p>
<p><i>Anywhere but Ravenclaw anywhere but Ravenclaw oh please
anywhere but Ravenclaw...</i></p>
<p>But no sooner the brim of the ancient felted device slipped over
his forehead -</p>
<p>"RAVENCLAW!"</p>
<p>As the table decked in blue began to applaud him, as he
approached the dread table where he would spend the next seven
years, Kvothe was already wincing inside, waiting for the
inevitable; and the inevitable happened almost at once, exactly as
he had feared it, before he'd even had a chance to sit down
properly.</p>
<p>"So!" an older boy said with the happy expression of someone
who's thought of something terribly clever. "Kvothe the Raven,
huh?"</p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p style="text-align:center;">TENGEN TOPPA GURREN RATIONALITY
40K</p>
<p>I have a truly marvelous story for this crossover which this
margin is too narrow to contain.</p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p style="text-align:center;">UTILITARIAN TWILIGHT</p>
<p><i>(Note: Written after I heard Alicorn was writing a Twilight
fanfic, but before I read <u>Luminosity</u>. It's obvious if you're
one of us.)</i></p>
<p>"Edward," said Isabella tenderly. She reached up a hand and
stroked his cold, sparkling cheek. "You don't have to protect me
from anything. I've listed out all the upsides and all the
downsides, assigned them consistent relative weights, and it's just
really obvious that the benefits of becoming a vampire outweigh the
drawbacks."</p>
<p>"Bella," Edward said, and swallowed desperately. "Bella -"</p>
<p>"Immortality. Perfect health. Awakening psychic powers. Easy
enough to survive on animal blood once you do it. Even the beauty,
Edward, there are people who would give their lives to be pretty,
and don't you dare call them shallow until you've tried being ugly.
Do you think I'm scared of the word 'vampire'? I'm tired of your
arbitrary deontological constraints, Edward. The whole human
species ought to be in on your fun, and people are dying by the
thousands even as you hesitate."</p>
<p>The gun in his lover's hand was cold against his forehead. It
wouldn't kill him, but it would disable him for long enough -</p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p style="text-align:center;">RATIONALIST HAMLET</p>
<p style="text-align:center;">(<b>contributed by Histocrat</b> on
LiveJournal, post 13389, aka <b>HonoreDB</b> on LessWrong)<br />
(reposted with permission)</p>
<p>HAMLET<br />
Interloper, abandon this strange prank,<br />
which makes cruel use of the blindness of my grief,<br />
and the good heart of my good friend Horatio.<br />
Or else, if thou hast true title to this belov'd form,<br />
tell me:<br />
What drawing did I present to Hamlet King,<br />
when six years old and scarce out of my sling?</p>
<p>Ghost<br />
'twas a unicorn clad all in mail.</p>
<p>HAMLET<br />
What.</p>
<p>Ghost<br />
Mark me.</p>
<p>HAMLET<br />
Father, I will.</p>
<p>Ghost<br />
My hour is almost come,<br />
When I to sulphurous and tormenting flames<br />
Must render up myself.</p>
<p>HAMLET<br />
Thou art in torment?</p>
<p>Ghost<br />
Ay, as are all who die unshriven.</p>
<p>HAMLET<br />
Like every Dane this is what I've been taught.<br />
Yet I did figure such caprice ill-suited to almighty God.<br />
For all who suffer unlook'd for deaths, unattended by God's chosen
priests,<br />
to be then punish'd for the ill-ordering of the world...</p>
<p>Ghost<br />
'twas not the world that killed me, nor accident of any kind.</p>
<p>HAMLET<br />
What?</p>
<p>Ghost<br />
If thou didst ever thy dear father love,<br />
Revenge his foul and most unnatural murder.</p>
<p>HAMLET<br />
Oh God.</p>
<p>Ghost<br />
My time grows ever shorter. Wilt thou hear the tale?</p>
<p>HAMLET<br />
No.</p>
<p>Ghost<br />
What?</p>
<p>HAMLET<br />
My love for you does call me to avenge your death,<br />
but greater crimes have I heard told this night.<br />
If all those murdered go to Hell, and others as well,<br />
who would have confess'd had they the time,<br />
If people who are, in balance, good, suffer grisly<br />
at the hands of God, then I defy God's plan.</p>
<p>Good Ghost, as one who dwells beyond the veil,<br />
you know things that we mortals scarce conceive.<br />
Tell me: is there some philter or device,<br />
outside nature's ken but not outside her means,<br />
by which death itself may be escap'd?</p>
<p>Ghost<br />
You seek to evade Hell?</p>
<p>HAMLET<br />
I seek to deny Hell to everyone!<br />
and Heaven too, for I suspect the Heaven of our mad God<br />
might be a paltry thing, next to the Heaven I will make of
Earth,<br />
when I am its immortal king.</p>
<p>Ghost<br />
I care not for these things.<br />
Death and hell have stripp'd away all of my desires,<br />
save for revenge upon my murderer.</p>
<p>HAMLET<br />
Thou shalt not be avenged, save that thou swear:<br />
an I slay thine killer, so wilt thou vouchsafe to me the
means<br />
by which I might slay death.</p>
<p>He who killed you will join you in the Pit,<br />
and then that's it. No further swelling of Hell's ranks will I
permit.</p>
<p>Ghost<br />
Done. When my brother is slain, he who poured the poison in my
ear,<br />
then will I pour in yours the precious truth:<br />
the making of the Philosopher's Stone. With this Stone, thou may'st
procure<br />
a philter to render any man immune to death, and more
transmute<br />
base metal to gold, to fund the provision of this philter to all
mankind.</p>
<p>HAMLET<br />
Truly there is nothing beyond the dreaming of philosophy.<br />
Wait.<br />
The man whom I must kill-my uncle the king?</p>
<p>Ghost<br />
Ay, that incestuous, that adulterate beast,<br />
With witchcraft of his wit, with traitorous gifts-</p>
<p>HAMLET<br />
Indeed, he has such gifts I near despair,<br />
of killing him and yet succeeding to his throne.<br />
'twill be an awesome fight for awesome stakes.<br />
Hast thou advice?</p>
<p><i>A cock crows. Exit Ghost.</i></p>
<p style="text-align:center;">(HonoreDB has now extended this to a
complete ebook)<br />
(entitled "A Will Most Incorrect to Heaven: The Tragedy of Prince
Hamlet and the Philosopher's Stone")<br />
(available for $3 at makefoil dot com)<br />
(yes, really)</p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p style="text-align:center;">MOBY DICK AND THE METHODS OF
RATIONALITY</p>
<p style="text-align:center;">(as related by <b>Eneasz</b> on
LessWrong)</p>
<p>"Revenge?" said the peg-legged man. "On a <i>whale?</i> No, I
decided I'd just get on with my life."</p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p style="text-align:center;">WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD</p>
<p style="text-align:center;">(thanks to <b>dsummerstay</b> for
reminding me to post this one)</p>
<p>MORPHEUS: For the longest time, I wouldn't believe it. But then
I saw the fields with my own eyes, watched them liquefy the dead so
they could be fed intravenously to the living -</p>
<p>NEO <i>(politely)</i>: Excuse me, please.</p>
<p>MORPHEUS: Yes, Neo?</p>
<p>NEO: I've kept quiet for as long as I could, but I feel a
certain need to speak up at this point. The human body is the most
inefficient source of energy you could possibly imagine. The
efficiency of a power plant at converting thermal energy into
electricity <i>decreases</i> as you run the turbines at lower
temperatures. If you had any sort of food humans could eat, it
would be more efficient to burn it in a furnace than feed it to
humans. And now you're telling me that their food is <i>the bodies
of the dead, fed to the living?</i> Haven't you ever heard of the
laws of thermodynamics?</p>
<p>MORPHEUS: Where did <i>you</i> hear about the laws of
thermodynamics, Neo?</p>
<p>NEO: Anyone who's made it past one science class in high school
ought to know about the laws of thermodynamics!</p>
<p>MORPHEUS: Where did you go to high school, Neo?</p>
<p>(Pause.)</p>
<p>NEO: ...in the Matrix.</p>
<p>MORPHEUS: The machines tell elegant lies.</p>
<p>(Pause.)</p>
<p>NEO <i>(in a small voice)</i>: Could I please have a real
physics textbook?</p>
<p>MORPHEUS: There is no such thing, Neo. The universe doesn't run
on math.</p>
</div>
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<option value="1">Chapter 1: A Day of Very Low Probability</option>
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<option value="4">Chapter 4: The Efficient Market Hypothesis</option>
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<option value="8">Chapter 8: Positive Bias</option>
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<option value="10">Chapter 10: Self Awareness, Part II</option>
<option value="11">Chapter 11: Omake Files 1, 2, 3</option>
<option value="12">Chapter 12: Impulse Control</option>
<option value="13">Chapter 13: Asking the Wrong Questions</option>
<option value="14">Chapter 14: The Unknown and the Unknowable</option>
<option value="15">Chapter 15: Conscientiousness</option>
<option value="16">Chapter 16: Lateral Thinking</option>
<option value="17">Chapter 17: Locating the Hypothesis</option>
<option value="18">Chapter 18: Dominance Hierarchies</option>
<option value="19">Chapter 19: Delayed Gratification</option>
<option value="20">Chapter 20: Bayes's Theorem</option>
<option value="21">Chapter 21: Rationalization</option>
<option value="22">Chapter 22: The Scientific Method</option>
<option value="23">Chapter 23: Belief in Belief</option>
<option value="24">Chapter 24: Machiavellian Intelligence Hypothesis</option>
<option value="25">Chapter 25: Hold Off on Proposing Solutions</option>
<option value="26">Chapter 26: Noticing Confusion</option>
<option value="27">Chapter 27: Empathy</option>
<option value="28">Chapter 28: Reductionism</option>
<option value="29">Chapter 29: Egocentric Bias</option>
<option value="30">Chapter 30: Working in Groups, Pt 1</option>
<option value="31">Chapter 31: Working in Groups, Pt 2</option>
<option value="32">Chapter 32: Interlude: Personal Financial Management</option>
<option value="33">Chapter 33: Coordination Problems, Pt 1</option>
<option value="34">Chapter 34: Coordination Problems, Pt 2</option>
<option value="35">Chapter 35: Coordination Problems, Pt 3</option>
<option value="36">Chapter 36: Status Differentials</option>
<option value="37">Chapter 37: Interlude: Crossing the Boundary</option>
<option value="38">Chapter 38: The Cardinal Sin</option>
<option value="39">Chapter 39: Pretending to be Wise, Pt 1</option>
<option value="40">Chapter 40: Pretending to be Wise, Pt 2</option>
<option value="41">Chapter 41: Frontal Override</option>
<option value="42">Chapter 42: Courage</option>
<option value="43">Chapter 43: Humanism, Pt 1</option>
<option value="44">Chapter 44: Humanism, Pt 2</option>
<option value="45">Chapter 45: Humanism, Pt 3</option>
<option value="46">Chapter 46: Humanism, Pt 4</option>
<option value="47">Chapter 47: Personhood Theory</option>
<option value="48">Chapter 48: Utilitarian Priorities</option>
<option value="49">Chapter 49: Prior Information</option>
<option value="50">Chapter 50: Self Centeredness</option>
<option value="51">Chapter 51: Title Redacted, Pt 1</option>
<option value="52">Chapter 52: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Pt 2</option>
<option value="53">Chapter 53: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Pt 3</option>
<option value="54">Chapter 54: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Pt 4</option>
<option value="55">Chapter 55: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Pt 5</option>
<option value="56">Chapter 56: TSPE, Constrained Optimization, Pt 6</option>
<option value="57">Chapter 57: TSPE, Constrained Cognition, Pt 7</option>
<option value="58">Chapter 58: TSPE, Constrained Cognition, Pt 8</option>
<option value="59">Chapter 59: TSPE, Curiosity, Pt 9</option>
<option value="60">Chapter 60: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Pt 10</option>
<option value="61">Chapter 61: TSPE, Secrecy and Openness, Pt 11</option>
<option value="62">Chapter 62: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Final</option>
<option value="63">Chapter 63: TSPE, Aftermaths</option>
<option value="64" selected>Chapter 64: Omake Files 4, Alternate Parallels</option>
<option value="65">Chapter 65: Contagious Lies</option>
<option value="66">Chapter 66: Self Actualization, Pt 1</option>
<option value="67">Chapter 67: Self Actualization, Pt 2</option>
<option value="68">Chapter 68: Self Actualization, Pt 3</option>
<option value="69">Chapter 69: Self Actualization, Pt 4</option>
<option value="70">Chapter 70: Self Actualization, Pt 5</option>
<option value="71">Chapter 71: Self Actualization, Pt 6</option>
<option value="72">Chapter 72: SA, Plausible Deniability, Pt 7</option>
<option value="73">Chapter 73: SA, The Sacred and the Mundane, Pt 8</option>
<option value="74">Chapter 74: SA, Escalation of Conflicts, Pt 9</option>
<option value="75">Chapter 75: Self Actualization Final, Responsibility</option>
<option value="76">Chapter 76: Interlude with the Confessor: Sunk Costs</option>
<option value="77">Chapter 77: SA, Aftermaths: Surface Appearances</option>
<option value="78">Chapter 78: Taboo Tradeoffs Prelude: Cheating</option>
<option value="79">Chapter 79: Taboo Tradeoffs, Pt 1</option>
<option value="80">Chapter 80: Taboo Tradeoffs, Pt 2, The Horns Effect</option>
<option value="81">Chapter 81: Taboo Tradeoffs, Pt 3</option>
<option value="82">Chapter 82: Taboo Tradeoffs, Final</option>
<option value="83">Chapter 83: Taboo Tradeoffs, Aftermath 1</option>
<option value="84">Chapter 84: Taboo Tradeoffs, Aftermath 2</option>
<option value="85">Chapter 85: Taboo Tradeoffs, Aftermath 3, Distance</option>
<option value="86">Chapter 86: Multiple Hypothesis Testing</option>
<option value="87">Chapter 87: Hedonic Awareness</option>
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