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+---
+authorName: Sabrina Lange
+authorGithubUsername: sweinzie
+issue: 96
+title: "As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say" - If the Project Manager Leads Differently than I Would 
+---
+# {{page.title}}
+
+Here are 3 observed stories of how to deal with personal conflicts inside project.
+
+A colleague of mine moved from working solely with Zühlke people to a project team with people from several service providers. After a few days, he complained that the way of working and the approach in his new project was completely different compared to what he was used to when working with Zühlke teams. He was afraid that continuoing this approach, this would not become a successful project.
+
+Another colleague switched from several Zühlke-led projects to another project in which he was the only Zühlke employee. After one month where procedures within the project seemed to have changed arbitrarily on a daily basis and with inexistent internal communication, he was frustrated and wanted to leave the project.
+
+I joined and supported this project team during the transitional period for 2 months. After a few days only it became already clear to me that I would not be able to work efficiently in this project because leadership and communication were so different from how I would have set up and managed the project.
+
+These are three real examples from my close environment and three times the question is: Is it bad just because it is different and how do I best deal with this "differences" ?
+ 
+To use the words from Henry Ford I see three ways of how to act: "Love it, leave it, or change it”
+ 
+The most gallant way to deal with the situation is to accept it. But not only accept but try to understand and then support the way of working, then maybe different mindset and change the own behavior in a way it will be aligned with the others. The benefit of this approach is that it will cause little friction within the project. Yet the most important point from my point of view is, that you are able to try different ways of working, new approaches and have the possibility to learn and increase your personal level of growth as you are on a new path you would maybe never chose by yourself and you have the possibility to gain further experiences. A key point from my point of view is to remain true to yourself and to show your integrity at all times.
+ 
+If the situation will change in a way you are no longer able to deal with it won’t help just to talk about it in a negative way. Then it is time for a change. Change starts with each one of us with small things. The way we share or ask for information, we talk to each other, we act within meetings and how we support team members or maintain our network. By enforcing change, you have the possibility to bring the project to the next level of maturity. But there is also a certain risk that you force a change that is not appropriate just because you are used to working in that way. And you have to keep in mind that most people are not enthusiastic about hearing that someone is questioning their way of working and that they should change anything by themselves. Worst case they try to make your life worse than before, reduce your involvement and so on. Just be prepared what may happen. Therefore, I suggest handling people with care and take them into the flow of change by showing them what they can gain and why they will benefit from the change.
+ 
+You may have tried to adapt to your teams’ way of working but then you found out that this will not satisfy you. And you tried to change the way things are going, but instead of finding a solution that fits for all, you simply found rejection and resistance. At this point in time best alternative is to leave the court or at least ask the line manager for support leaving the project. Not as an escape but as a protection for yourself and the team if this situation is not acceptable and proposals are not welcome.
+
+At the end of the day, you will have to be able to look in your mirror and decide for yourself whether you can take the decision or not. Was the behavior of the others (team or project manager) fundamentally wrong or just different? Was I too comfortable to get involved in the new approach or did I try my best to be efficient on the project? Were my suggestions for change appropriate or did I offend my colleagues rather than motivate them? All these questions can help with the decision - love, change or leave - to be at peace with yourself. Most important point is to take a decission and not only to resign and to prepare negative moods in the team by e.g. negative actions or speaches. Because negative mood is the worst thing that can happen in a team and it loses its effectiveness.
+